If you're caught in an abusive relationship, you may not even know it. Abuse usually escalates over time, so the signs may not be obvious at first. An abusive relationship is when one partner dominates the other with physical, mental, emotional or financial manipulation and control. Knowing the signs of an abusive relationship can help you figure out if you are in one or headed toward one, and then you can plan your escape route.
Controlling Behavior
One of the biggest signs of an abusive relationship is when one partner exerts control over the other. The dominant one might demand that you stay in the house, restrict finances or not allow you to attend social or family events. An abusive spouse may try to justify the controlling behavior by making false accusations of infidelity or showing extreme jealousy. If your lover does not want you to talk to strangers, friends or family and gets angry and jealous if you do, you are in an abusive relationship.
Verbal or Physical Attacks
If your boyfriend or husband launches physical or verbal attacks against you, this is another sign of abuse. Verbal abuse may start out as degrading remarks aimed at you and escalate into public humiliation, name-calling and taunting. Physical abuse may begin with a slap or a push and will become increasingly severe with time, even leading to you having to go to the hospital. The abusive person may also attack your pets or children. Abusive partners often blame the victim, acting as if the victim provoked the attacks. No matter what your partner says or how he tries to justify the attacks, they are abusive and are never justified.
Extreme Jealousy
In abusive relationships, the abusive partner is often extremely jealous and may go into fits of rage when his partner has social contact with other people. A little jealousy is normal for everyone from time to time, but if your partner uses jealousy as an excuse to control or isolate you, this is abusive. An extremely jealous boyfriend may accuse you of having relationships with other men, say you're a flirt and even demand that you avoid social gatherings because of his jealousy. An abusive partner is usually very insecure, which fuels jealous feelings. Your partner may become obsessed with being right, competing with you in everyday matters and always insisting that you are the loser.
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