If you have trouble keeping your cool in an argument, feel like you can't convey your thoughts well or have difficulty getting your point across, you are not alone, as many people feel frustrated and ineffective while arguing. Take heart because you can learn how to communicate effectively in a conflict by practicing some basic talking techniques. With a little repetition and opportunity, you'll be on your way to winning results and happier personal relationships in no time.
Step 1
Count to 10. It helps to stay calm and collect your thoughts during an argument, so take a few deep breaths and think things over before you speak. If you're really heated, leave the room, and even go for a walk or a jog to cool down. Speaking while angry will only make you less effective at communicating your points.
Step 2
Listen to the other person. Many times during arguments we don't really hear what the other person is saying because we are too upset or too busy planning what to say next. Taking a step back and listening to the other person can help you understand him better.
Step 3
Avoid negative methods of communication such as name-calling, harassment, taunting or accusations. If you use these techniques, you'll not only make the other person angry, but you'll likely get a verbal attack in return. Keep it civil by sticking to respectful statements.
Step 4
Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Imagining things from the other person's perspective not only can help you be more sympathetic and understanding, but it also can help you see what the other person wants. This will give you ideas on how to compromise or work out something that satisfies you both.
Step 5
Be willing to compromise. No one can have their way all of the time, and it's fair if both sides get some of what they want. Try to avoid all-or-nothing thinking and see the possibilities of both of you getting what you want.
Step 6
Search for common ground. Finding things that both sides agree on is a great way to set a friendly tone instead of a combative one, and you can move onto more difficult issues once you both realize you can be allies.
Tips and Warnings
- Be positive toward the other person when communicating, and she'll feel more trusting of you and be more willing to work with you on tackling the conflict at hand.
- If you feel threatened or fear you may be harmed in a conflict, escape the situation immediately. No matter how effectively you communicate, if someone is violent or volatile, it's best to leave the situation.
Things You'll Need
- People
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