Conflicts may seem inevitable in any relationship, but knowing how to resolve conflicts can ultimately make the relationship stronger by enabling people to overcome their differences and disagreements while strengthening the bond between them. Conflicts can arise for different reasons. A legitimate disagreement or opposing views on a particular subject may reveal themselves. In many cases, however, the conflict may be grounded in more fundamental differences of personality. Knowing how to resolve conflicts requires the ability to identify their source. It also requires open lines of communication, because the people in the relationship need to be able and willing to talk to each other.
Step 1
Cool down if you're emotionally charged. Emotions can get in the way of rationally looking at and assessing the situation. If you need to leave the room for a few minutes to calm down, consider it time well spent.
Step 2
Identify the source of the conflict by talking it over. This concept may be more difficult than it first appears. Many times, a conflict has the proverbial "straw that breaks the camel's back." The initial salvo of a conflict may be rooted in other disagreements or conflicts from the past. Talk to each other, and ask probing questions to discover the root issues of the conflict.
Step 3
Explain your feelings and reasoning behind your actions and beliefs. Your partner may misunderstand why you feel the way that you do. Then listen to your partner's feelings and expressions, because you may have misconceptions or misperceptions about your partner's actions or expressions as well. Clarify any misunderstandings or topics that are not clearly delineated.
Step 4
Propose a way to move forward with the relationship. You may have to "agree to disagree," but you could also meet halfway. For example, if the conflict centers around spending time together, then each side in the relationship could agree partially to the other's demands. Make sure you and your partner clearly understand any agreement you reach.
Step 5
Keep trying to reach an agreement until you achieve success. This resolution may require multiple attempts to achieve, likely requiring that you talk about the conflict and offer concessions while suggesting concessions the other party in the relationship can make to meet halfway.
Tips and Warnings
- If the conflict is large and involves many issues, set aside a time to discuss the problem with the other person in the relationship. This discussion should occur at a time during which neither party will have distractions.
- Sometimes attempts to resolve conflicts can actually inflame them, despite good intentions. Be prepared to break off an attempt if the friend reveals emotionally charged reasons why the conflict cannot be resolved.
Member Comments