A divorce is painful for everyone involved. The emotional journey will vary from one individual to the next; however, there are some effects of divorce that are common among women. Knowing what those effects are can help you strategize a plan for coping with them effectively, as you navigate your way through this difficult experience.
Financial Effects
The most immediate challenge a divorced woman faces is taking care of financial concerns. Mediate.com states that "90% of divorced mothers have custody of their children" and "60% of people under poverty guidelines are divorced women and children." If your husband was the primary breadwinner during your marriage, you now carry of the burden of providing your family with an income. You also assume the responsibility of handling your finances, including balancing your checkbook, managing any savings and retirement accounts, and establishing credit in your own name. If you haven't worked outside the home before your divorce, the first thing you need to do is focus on getting yourself employment. You will need a job to be able to stand on your own.
Independence
A married couple typically splits household responsibilities. You may have taken care of most of the domestic tasks and child rearing, while your husband saw to car repairs, home maintenance and yard work. A divorce means that you must learn how to do all of those things on your own, without the help or support of a partner. It can be both intimidating and overwhelming to take on these new responsibilities. You will likely feel out of your depth at first and alone. However, as long as you're willing, you can acquire the skills you need to run your household. It will take time, but it can be done.
Depression
Most of your time and attention will be absorbed in providing a life for yourself and your children. However, you will likely have moments of grief and loneliness. Overmydivorce.com states "The stressful effects of divorce can leave women feeling rejected, insecure and depressed." You might experience doubt and even self-loathing as you agonize over what went wrong and what might have been done differently. This bout of depression is normal; it is also temporary. The best thing you can do is stay focused on doing the things you need to do in order to stand on your own.
Relief
In spite of the financial and emotional effects of divorce, sometimes marriage is so unbearable that a woman must end it in order to preserve her dignity, happiness and sense of self. Mediate.com says "women are more likely [than men] to notice marital problems and to feel relief when such problems end." It is painful to live with someone who ignores you, mistreats you or takes you for granted. Coping with the stress that comes with being single may be preferable to being part of an unhappy couple. In this situation, it is normal to feel relief that your marriage is over. You are ready to build something better for yourself.
