If someone you care about is in an abusive relationship, it can be heartbreaking and frightening to watch. But armed with the right knowledge and preparation, you may be able to rescue your friend from an abusive relationship. An abusive relationship is one in which one partner exerts physical, mental or financial control over the other partner by force or manipulation. Recognizing abuse can be difficult for someone immersed in the relationship, but helping the abused person see the truth can be life-saving and well-worth the effort.
Step 1
Reach out to the abused person. Whether it's a friend, family member or co-worker, when someone is abused, she often becomes isolated and feels alone and scared. Show you care by being available to talk, listening without judging and offering to help in any way you can.
Step 2
Express your concern for his safety. Give your friend the number of the National Domestic Violence Hotline, and offer to help him locate a free local counseling center for victims of abuse. Counseling and professional advice from people experienced in dealing with abuse can focus the victim's attention toward his personal safety and getting out of the relationship.
Step 3
Provide information, such as hotlines and contact information for local women's shelters and counseling centers, to help the abused person, but refrain from judging or offering advice. It can be hard when you are concerned about someone, but don't say things like "Just leave him," or "Why do you stay there?" You are not a professional, and your opinions may come across as judgmental, which will make your friend feel worse and possibly tune you out. Education and access to helpful resources are the most powerful tools to help an abuse victim.
Step 4
Do not become involved directly to save your friend, as domestic violence can be dangerous, and if you allow an abused person to stay with you without protection, you may both be at risk for attacks from the abuser. Tell your friend to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for helpful advice from an expert if you are afraid for her safety. The hotline can direct her to local shelters and emergency resources.
Tips and Warnings
- Being a supportive friend is the most important thing you can do for someone who is being abused. An abuse victim often has no one to talk to besides the abuser and fears judgment from the outside world, so show that you are caring and nonjudgmental if you want to help. Check out websites for the National Domestic Violence Hotline and the YWCA to learn about the characteristics of abusive relationships and the resources available to help.
- If you think your friend is in immediate danger, call 911 right away.
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