Jealousy is a complex mixture of fear, anger, betrayal, embarrassment and envy that can be incredibly difficult and painful to deal with, says Psychology Today magazine. To make things even more complicated, women and men experience jealousy differently, according to David Buss, a psychologist at the University of Texas and author of "The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy Is as Necessary as Love and Sex." A little jealousy may be an unavoidable part of a healthy relationship, but unchecked jealously can be destructive and unhappy to experience. Mastering a few basic techniques can help you cope effectively when jealousy strikes.
Step 1
Acknowledge your feelings, recommends Bucks County Community College Counseling Services. Admit that you're jealous, and try to pinpoint the specific source of your jealousy. Sometimes simply giving yourself permission to feel jealous about something helps make your jealous feelings fade.
Step 2
Build your relationship. The stronger the bond between you and your partner, the less likely it is that jealousy will be a major issue, according to Psychology Today.
Step 3
Talk to your partner when it feels right. You don't have to share every jealous twinge with your partner, but if you have a serious or ongoing source of jealousy, address it. Use nonjudgmental language--say "I feel" instead of "you always," for instance--and be calm and specific. Make it clear that you want to start a conversation, not a fight.
Step 4
Do something to take your mind off your jealousy. See a movie, visit a museum, have lunch with a friend, go for a run or do something you enjoy. Obsessing over jealous feelings makes them worse.
Step 5
Set a time limit for your jealous thoughts. Give yourself permission to spend 15 minutes or so dwelling on your jealousy, then shift gears and do something else, suggests Bucks County Community College Counseling Services.
Step 6
Talk to a professional if jealousy is a serious or ongoing problem for you. Often, jealousy stems from a person's insecurities and past experiences. Talking with a trained mental health professional can help you work through the issues that make you feel jealous.
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