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sober but escaping still

Hi - I've been without a drink for three years now. I had to to do that as my family was falling apart. AA was the framework I used to get away from alcohol, but I wasn't able to get away from my compulsion to escape myself in other ways i.e. food, sex and other distractions. While AA was necessary for alcohol, I never did all the steps in part because my reach out for a sponsor was never successful. I felt like i was breaking into a club and no one really was open an supporting as I thought they would be. So, I took what I could and left the rest.

But I'm still a drift. I know what to do, exercise, meditation, get out of my own head and engage, don't isolate. Yet, it feels like I'm rolling the stone uphill and it is ever ever up. Thanks for listening; another day to start again.

    • Hi John what part of the world are you, I'm in the UK, I've been sober in AA for 30 years and know how difficult it can be finding a suitable sponsor.

      My advise for what it's worth would be to find someone you relate to, who is sharing recovery through the Big Book (steps) it might not be even someone you like, but ask them if they can guide you through the steps. A good sponsor will guide you, not tell you what to do, as you are the one doing the work to the best of your ability.

      Don't take this the wrong way but unless you're Gay, Men for Men, Women for Women. As your vulnerable if the sponsor is someone you might feel romantic attraction to, things can go bad very quickly.

      Good luck and don't give up hope of finding someone to help you.

    • congratulations on getting and staying sober, it really is difficult.

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