Dare to End A Relationship

By Anonymous on November 20, 2009 at 12:23 AM

Spoken like the truly inexperienced. It may start out as a chemical rush, some aren't even that lucky. Like any chemical response, eventually we become tolerant to it and require a more potent version (sometimes found in the way of an affair). But it's beyond that buzz where the guts of it all lies. I have been lucky in life to have experienced this twice. One of these loves has passed and the second is amazing. Although I myself am not one hundred years old and therefore cannot impart the wisdom of the ages I can share what I have learned. My wife is my best friend and like all friends we disagree, we take each other for granted and we have an amazing time doing it. I love her because I admire her. But, like what a lot of these other stories mention, sometimes things just don't work out. I have not been that unlucky but it happens. I wouldn't pigeon hole it all as a simple use and discard event.

By Anonymous on November 8, 2009 at 01:04 PM

You are not alone. I'm in the same situation with my marriage. Our mutual love for our children is what is keeping us both in the relationship. It's heartbreaking because I never imagined myself where I'm at. I always tried to make decisions based on what was best for everyone else- never putting myself first. Now I question if it was worth it. I came to this site trying to focus on working out and healthy living because I think I'm becoming despressed, and I know how much better I feel when I'm living a healthy lifestyle.

By Layla777 on October 17, 2009 at 04:59 PM

I'm only 17, but I know that love can come in all things and it comes in all varities, shapes and sizes. And I know for sure, that love is never unsure. So if your not sure that you love him or just don't know, then your heart is telling you something. If you really loved him you would automactically know, without having to think about it. You don't have to settle for less and he shouldn't have to either, so don't lead him on or string him along. Everyone wants to be with someone that their head over heels for not someone they put in their back pocket and take them out whenever they decide their useful.

By Anonymous on October 11, 2009 at 09:32 AM

Don't let him make you feel guilty for not wanting to be with him. He's just using your co-workers as his audience to try to let you see that he's a great guy (which he might be) but that doesn't give him any right to try and humiliate you like that, it's your choice if you don't wanna be with somebody, you let them down easy, tell them you hope you two can still be friends, and move on.
Either they accept it or cry about it for the rest of there lives.
and life is too short for that.

By Layla777 on October 11, 2009 at 09:26 AM

I'm sorry for your broken heart, everyone eventually gets one and feels better from it and are able to through it. I don't think anyone every fogets about how hurt the person made them feel or about how much they loved the person, I just think time is there to remind us why we were happy before them and how we'll be happy without them.

By Anonymous on April 28, 2009 at 04:15 PM

Run. Do not marry this person. Your gut is telling you to run. Your kids are telling you to run. Your family is telling you to run. His actions are telling you to run. You deserve better. Read the book; "He's Just Not That Into You". It will save you years of heartache.

By Anonymous on April 29, 2009 at 12:19 PM

You need someone who you can trust and lean on when times get tough. To find out you were in surgery and he was cruising for other women is, I'd say, the lowest of the low, and should have been his last chance. Trust me - you will be happier in the long run if it's just you and your children, rather than being stuck in a dishonest marriage. If you don't leave for yourself, do it for your children. Don't let them grow up in that sort of environment. Good luck!

By scrappinbug03 on April 30, 2009 at 03:32 PM

Thank you! I just bought "He's Just Not That Into You" off of amazon.
It looks like a great book and I am going to read it!!
I still have plans to move in June and just like I said..feel crumby for just up and leaving abruptly.

By Jessgos1313 on May 7, 2009 at 12:32 PM

You are not wrong by any means. Keep your head up. You know in your heart what you need to do for yourself and your children...

I'm going through the same type of stuff with my boyfriend.

By Anonymous on May 14, 2009 at 11:03 AM

Stop feeling crummy about yourself. You may first need to believe that you deserve better. Why should you feel bad about leaving a relationship that doesn't work? Somewhere, someone has made you feel guilty about it. Empower yourself! Your children need to see a strong person take control. Don't feel bad about moving out. Putting yourself in a better situation will help you see what others are seeing. Mostly, stop feeling guilty and don't apologize for looking out for yourself. As for an explanation, you simply aren't happy and that's all the explanation you need. Lean on your family and real friends. You can do it! Best wishes!

By supportingLAF on May 25, 2009 at 05:46 AM

sounds so much like me, my just found out my wife has been cheating on me for the last 4 years...I caught her four years ago and thought it was ended. Then I just found a (love you so much) text.Those are the worst. Makes you feel so betrayed, I cant even discribe the loneliness i feel inside.

By Anonymous on May 26, 2009 at 07:05 PM

Leave him! You can do this. It will be hard, but if you don't you will have years of the same pain. I spent 4 years with a similar story, and trust me, it does not get better. It slowly starts to rip at your confidence every time you are disrespected by his actions and his lies. Just move out, do not dicuss it, because there is no discussion with a liar that has disrespected you. If you give him a chance to explain, he will just convince you to stay and the next thing you know you are having the same issues in 30 days. I just finished reading 10-10-10 and it really helped me get throught my break-up. Everytime I got lonely or missed him, I thought through it and saw it might make me happy in the next 10 minutes to see him, but if I did, in 10 months from now I would be miserable in the same position. Set your move date and do it! Depend on family and friends while you go through the pain. Don't be bitter because that will just prolong your pain, just move on. You can do it!!!

By SamiJ_71 on June 1, 2009 at 10:26 AM

Step outside yourself and see what I see. There are a few red flags from yourself your not paying attention to. You said "in my heart I'm not excited about getting married". You should be, if not I consider this a red flag. "Something is telling me to run." Maybe your mind can see what your heart is coverying up. Yet another red flag. Finally...you have a bank acct he doesn't know about. Something led you to get it. Sweetie, you don't sound crazy and your guts are screaming at you to move on from him but your heart is holding you back for many reasons. These are the signs I'm seeing from your explanation and even your own mind is telling you. It is hard but sometimes we have to look out for ourselves. I hope this helps or makes you feel not so crazy.

By BMickens1 on June 1, 2009 at 04:32 PM

After 18 years of lies, cheating, and mental abuse, the best advice I can give anyone is to listen to your gut. If you are not excited about getting married, then don't. Listen to your children...they don't like him for a reason and it will NOT get any better when they become teenagers. You do not owe him an explanation, but if he asked for it....tell him that you are "confessing" that this is a mistake and you deserve better. You have proof that he is not committed to your future or your relationship and he has confirmed it thru his confessions. Once fooled, his mistake....twice fooled is foolish. Be strong, be your beautiful self, and do you and your children a favor by making the right decision.

By cameraperson on June 2, 2009 at 10:19 PM

Terminate this as soon as possible without looking back! All of the internet girls are going to get you STD's or worse. Find someone who will respect you, and treat you like the champion that you are. You had surgery (no matter how small, it's a big event) and he was trying to find fulfillment or fantasy somewhere else- it's not your fault. It seemed like a relationship of convenience, and we've all been there probably. Lastly, YOU might like this guy- but your kids need someone to admire. Someone to lead them and grow with them, not someone to disrespect. This will change your kids lives forever, for better if you ditch the zero...

M

By lFaithwalker on July 28, 2009 at 12:57 PM

Please, please do not marry this man. You owe him nothing but a goodbye. You owe yourself and your children everything. I know you wrote this three months ago and I hope by now you have left him.

By Anonymous on August 13, 2009 at 06:18 AM

Run. If you are finding this out before you are married run. I never knew what hit me until it was too late and I had already married him.

By Anonymous on August 16, 2009 at 07:04 AM

No. You are correct in your feelings and should listen to your feelings, NOT what he is telling you. It WILL be tough. It WILL be scary. But living in this situation is horrible on your self esteem. Go for it! Live your life.

By Anonymous on August 24, 2009 at 05:27 AM

Go with your gut... Run!

Definitely get away. Marriage should just flow. You should both be happy and easing into a life together. If he's still looking, let him look, but don't be the consolation prize.

If your kids don't like him and your family disapproves, what are you waiting for?

By cunnew on August 31, 2009 at 12:50 AM

you are wrong for doing all of that!!This man is doing nothing more than we all do. He seems quite normal to me.Why should you be excited about getting married? most men hate their wives after a couple of years anyway. let him have his other women it will do your relationship the world of good.Don't run thats the worst thing you could do. peoples family will always say "you deserve better" tell them to mind their own goddam buisiness. What do your kids really know at their ages? go on stick with it you wont regret it

By Anonymous on September 1, 2009 at 11:11 AM

Simply stated - get out
That relationship is a recipe for disaster
You do not need him
Listen to yourself and your kids

By ldn1026 on September 4, 2009 at 10:45 AM

You need to end this relationship. Your kids don't like him and they should be your priority, not a relationship with a man. Raise your kids and then find someone who can treat you the way you should be treated. Too many women feel they "must" have a man to be complete. You don't move on and take the kids with you, listen to the signs being thrown at you and you won't regret it.

By Anonymous on October 11, 2009 at 08:08 AM

You need to give up and get out and LEAVE! don't tell about the bank account or nothing, just get your children and leave. If your own children don't like him, that should be a sign, he's no good.
LEAVE! LEAVE!
p.s get out now before your stuck in a marriage you don't wanna be in.

By Anonymous on October 11, 2009 at 08:02 AM

Have a divorce party! =)

By Anonymous on October 11, 2009 at 08:01 AM

You can do bad all by yourself , you don't need the extra baggae and stress in your life because you can have your own problems without a person adding to it.

By koolidsmilegurl on October 6, 2009 at 08:46 PM

lol ur funny :)

By juancarlopascua on September 24, 2009 at 08:32 PM

Good job twinkle