Dare to End a relationship
278 members Daring to End a relationship have tracked a total of 294 times
End a relationship that isn't giving you what you need and build your personal strength to find something better. Taking the first step can be hard, but you could be better off in the long-run.
Member Comments
Ended a 2yr relationship last week. I felt it best for me and him. We just don't see eye to eye on things and for the most part we are into different things in our own lives which doesn't help us get truly together. We both have children who get possessive and come at each of us. I am 40+ and want to develop an established relationship with someone who is also looking for the same thing. I am not a very outgoing person who goes to clubs, etc.. but I am looking at this time in my life to do something new with me..Advise???
I had a long talk with my fiancee last night..told him how I felt about our family,,the secrets of spending habits..opening a new bank account...our children...etc. Non responsive to any comments..also tells me it is none of my business..etc..here I go again explaing with respect..love..again..Tired of it..decide to get help for yourself or not but I have kids to raise and the upcoming birth of of my grandson.don't need his cold attitude and hiding in the BR..so..by the end of this he will be gone ..no more BS!! so I asking creator to take of us!!
I actually ended my relationship April 1st. He tried to hit me months ago, and I finally got tired of lying to myself as well as everyone around me to keep that a secret. I'm opening up to more and more people and in turn making the situation more and more real. It happened to me. I survived and I escaped. IT WAS NOT MY FAULT. The more I talk about it, the easier it becomes to accept.
I encourage anyone in a remotely (Emotionally, Physically, Mentally, Sexually) Abusive relationship to GET OUT. Yes it's the worst situation in the world while you're ending it, but the MOMENT it's over, you can start living YOUR life for YOU.
Be honest with yourself when you evaluate your own happiness. Honesty will tell you a lot.
your are right every one should look for the happiness and people who really makes you feel happy and pleased
it was the same story for me but was by his treatment to me , he was so slefish i spent with him about 10 years from my life, but unforcntly i wasnt good for him, he is always complaning, demanding requesting things from me wither i can do them or not.. and if i dont agree with hime he strats to hurt me until i reach to point i start to hurt my self and i loose control screeming ,crying and one time i tried to jump from the home window
But now i must stop >>> yaa i love him .... but i love my self more and i have to stay away becasue he is only good to hurt me
I hate my relationship and want to end it, but there are sl many things keeping me here. I tell myself that one day , one day I will be able to do it alone.
Im in a situation where a girl I've been with for two years ended the relationship and it seemed like it would be better for the both of us. But it's is so hard to let her go I m in an emotional wreck help me I really need some comfort and advice.
I know I need to take a stand in my life and speak up for myself, but I guess I am at a point in my life when I have taken responsibility for where I am, but don't know how to change the dynamics in my life. I need more guts.
I know a few friends who are single now but they seem to be unable to leave the finished relationship behind. One even turned a little stalker-ish. I think we should have a dare, not necessarily helping people to forget something in the past but realise we live for today but not the past that we should move on and get on with our lives.
This is so hard, I live with my boyfriend of 3 years and I love him...but we are not right for eachother. He is not abusive at all, but he is a little bit controlling, he always "jokingly" says I'm cheating on him and whatnot, looks through my phone a lot. Also, he is 13 years older than me, and here I am a graduate student pursuing an eventual law degree, and he is just an undergrad right now, with no tangible goals. He plays poker a lot, blows his money, and the worst part of the relationship is we never have sex. I want it so much I have to beg for it, and he hardly gives it to me, being female this just does not seem fair! He is affectionate with me all the time and tells me how much he loves me, he's even asked me to marry him, but I always say no. He is also overweight, and it gets worse and worse and he doesn't try to do anything about it. He hurt his knee pretty bad a few years ago but I just don't feel like that's a good enough excuse, there plenty of other things he can do to help control his weight.
Basically, there are too many things we can't fix. I have urged him to start watching what he eats and work out a little for the past year with no success. I have tried to communicate with him how important sex is to me and how much I want it, but to no avail. I need to get out of this relationship because it is going nowhere, and even though I love him, that isn't enough to make this last. I need to find a new place soon and move on!
I am in the same boat u are. I have been with my bf for 3 years he is an alcoholic and unemployed. He sits around all day and around on his computer. He in no way contributes to anything. We also never ever ever have sex. I hate this relationship but he will never leave
He wont have sex with you? Are you attractive? Because if your attractive and he still isn't into it, then he's either gay or masturbating constantly... either way... move on.
Do yourself and him a favor and end it. You (obviously) have no respect for this guy--he sounds like he has no respect for himself. Love is NEVER enough to make a relationship work. A woman needs to feel loved (and that can involve sex, though not always), and needs to be with a man she can completely respect. Don't love the man he "could be, if only..."....find a man you can be amazed by, loving him will come easy. Good luck to you. Step out of your fear today. LIVESTRONG.
:D
I have been married for 15 years and sometime along the way someone gave me a piece of advice. People in general do not change for other people, and if they do, it will only be temporary. Don't settle for less. I got so caught up and used to begging, it difficult to brake bad habits and leave bad relationships. Better soon than later.
Thanks for the support all. I did it today, I finally ended it! I am feeling really sad and lost, but I know for a fact that its for the best. Danadebard, your comment was especially comforting. Respecting the man I am with is very important and I really feel like I can't respect him, and that will not change.
Don't let anyone hold you back from your future, there is someone better out there for you. This guy seems to have issues, get on with your life, it's to short to waste it, you'll be happier.
@Reaper4848, you live in a very simple world where the only reason a guy won't have sex is 1. the chick is ugly 2. he is gay 3. he masturbates a lot. There's many, many more reasons than that.
Sounds like he just wants a life companion, tell him to get a cat. Right now put your career first and you will meet someone your equal. Get out NOW, delay will make it worse.A little hurt in short run, is all better in long run, you will look back with sigh of relief, Go Girl!!
AHH! Now he is telling me he loves me again. He says he never realized how much he loved me until now. I don't know how to feel about him anymore. There is so much hurt I don't know if I can move past it.
It has been rough!! He keeps texting me and I am ignoring him. It is hard not to put my two cents in but it would just further the relationship which I don't want anymore. He has new women to talk to so he should leave me alone!
My son's father and I don't get along. It was an all around abusive relationship. He controlled me, monitored my cell phone, and always accused me of trying to get with someone else. Well of course it turns out he has been in contact with his ex-girlfriends and spent a week with one of them. Ugly long story. Now he is putting me down worse than ever and just doing every imaginable mean thing he can. He was the one I went to for everything so I am having a hard time not calling him. He has hurt me so many times I do not want to go back for more. I pray for strength to stay strong cause I could be better off without him.
My husband and I had my pregnant little sister living with us for a while while she was dealing with an abusive relationship. Someone recommended a book to us and it was VERY helpful, PLEASE, for your own sake, get it and read it! It's called "Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft
Keep praying... it's tough, but there is hope because you know the truth... you WILL be better and happier without him!
My 15yr relationship has ended (after many times). This time he broke it off saying he wanted to get his own place and remain friends. We have 3 children and I need help keeping it together. It's only the 2nd day and I am trying to stay strong but I am an emotional wreck. I dont want to be embarassed by breaking down when im out in the public. He was very difficult person to be with and had a bit of control issues and although we both knew this might be best, it breaks my heart to think this is the finale and we may never have another chance again. I live in a town where I have no family and friends so I feel so alone and cant bear that thought. He did a # on my self esteem so cant even think of finding love in the future, plus with the 3 kids it would be hard to go out in the dating world. :(
I am in the same spot right now except I have 4 kids! I feel for you and I hope time will heal your pain.
keep your head up. At the start of thing it may seem very difficult, but keep active to keep your mind off of him. Also someone who is so controlling must have issues with himself, and probably means that you are great looking ;) lol. But really in all honestly know your beauty, and be confident in yourself that you will be able to get over this. Also good music gets your mind off of everything :) best of luck to you, but you wont need it because you will emerge from this confident and more beautiful than ever!!!!!
I've been where you are. This thought process helps me every day; My children will become who I am...If I allow someone to abuse and control me, so will they. If I don't take care of my body, neither will they. If I drink, smoke, eat too much...so will they.If I am compassionate, healthy & loving, they will be too. Fix what needs to be fixed so you can show them how it's done.
Commenting to you and also to firefly a little bit, I have a different point of view for you. My mother and father split when I was 4 years old. Like your kids, I went with my mother. My mother turned to food and depression in her life. I watched her eat herself into diabetes, and an emotional hole that she will never come out of. I am 22 years old now and I dont know if my mother will ever have the self confidence to move on with her life because of the relationship she had with my father. My sister weighs over 450 lbs because my mother has not led by example with her. Instead of hiking on the weekend, she took us for 2000 calorie tubs of popcorn at the movies. My sister is 19 years old and the doctors do not think that she will live past 40. My point in telling you this is, that you need to be strong for your kids at the very least. Your post is over a month old, but I am sure you are still struggling with this. Look at the miracle that you have made in your children and livestrong for them. I know it may not seem like it now, but you will find someone else who will love you for you! In the meantime use this website for all the amazing aspects it has. Stay motivated! You will make it!
although i've ended one unhealthy relationship i think i'm in another so i'm going to have to do this again. and it's funny bc eventhough i've ended the relationship with the first person romantically i've realized that we are much better friends than anything. maybe i didnt complete this date fully ...
I've been in a toxic relationship for so many years and i want out. we are physically not together but the emotional bond has been most difficult to break. I want this year to be the year that i can break the emotional dependency I have on him.
I, too, have been in a toxic relationship for nearly two years. It hasn't been physical in the past 4 months; as a matter of fact, he's moved on. I haven't been able to let go though and still hold out hope to be 'just friends.' But the more I see of him, the more I wonder why I even want to be friends with him. I am making a conscious effort to think of something else whenever he comes to mind. Like you, I want to break my emotional dependency on him in 2010. I loved him once but need to let it go. Stay strong!
I ended a toxic relationship. I did not realize that it was toxic until after much prayer and reaching out- living in a detached way and having healthy boudaries. I needed to understand that I can have better outlets for my desire to dance and connect. After looking at this site, I realized that some of my behaviors were really not healthy. I am not looking back. I am scared though because I still have to interact with places that have some things that I need.
have been in a relationship with a man for four years, was only happy the first year.Have tried to end it numerous times but he is just not having it. I feel suffocated. I want to move on with my life but he likes to control everything. I am 10 years older than him and have 2 children he is single and has the world at his feet but he just will not accept the end of our relationship. I told him again today that i didnt want to go into 2010 with him but he either starts getting emotional or aggressive. Today it was emotional. Why is it that i feel happiest when im on my own with my family
Still in the hospital after 6 days. Bipolar spouse has yet to show up, though I do get weird phone calls. Don't know when I'm going to get released or who is going to help me out while I recover, not a good scene.
By Anonymous on April 26, 2010 at 11:33 PM
no...he went to san marcus w ryan hambers supposedly