Dare to Stay sober
2,118 members Daring to Stay sober have tracked a total of 17,582 times
Alcoholism can affect your health and your relationships. By cutting alcohol from your life or drinking in moderation, you can keep your heart and liver healthy.
Member Comments
What about just one of those 'Livestrong' rubber bracelets? A few months ago, I was thinking the same thing about a visual reminder. Even thought about a small tattoo....
Exactly, a note, something, anything that helps but to see something right on your wine-reaching hand could have extra impact. It always seems like it takes only a few extra seconds to change your mind and then you're in the clear, but the problem is we sometimes don't even give ourselves those extra seconds and as you said, the AV screams and wins. I'm on day 5 since my last slip myself, so we're in sort of the same boat ;) Just have to keep on keeping on now.
And yes wakingup, those Livestrong gel bands are exactly the ones I am thinking of! They are unassuming and you can get them with different words like "strength" etc. I got a bunch on eBay for about $5. I was thinking of a tiny tattoo as well. Visual things like this remind me of how Straight Edge wear X's on their hands to declare their no alcohol/no drug lifestyle. Very much a statement.
Has anyone on here seen the movie "Everything Must Go" with Will Ferrell? I brought it home this weekend thinking it was a comedy. It isn't. It's about alcoholism. Iceman mentioned the "yets". This movie shows exactly what can happen when you hit the yets. I'm glad I never did and I know now that I never will let that happen.
Found out yesterday I have a new job. I'm celebrating with flowers and a massage. Not food, not booze.
Congratulations on the job AND the healthier celebration!
Fantastic!
Stopped in to say HI! Glad I did. Congrats on 2 1/2 suzyq, love it when the strength part comes in. Well said.
Taking a look at some of the posts, I'm reminded of the PAIN. The pain that we're mostly or completely unaware of that leads us into addiction. The pain that the consequences of addiction eventually create. And then, the discovery of that pain we must walk through when we become conscious in sobriety. The eventual realization that this is about you....not the drink....not the drug...not the addiction.
But taking that journey of self-discovery, learning what courage really is, unmasking narcissism, and letting compassion for others and gratitude help heal us.......the hardest thing I have ever done in my life but "beyond words" the most amazing thing I have ever experienced.
When the "yets" are gone and you can no longer say that you haven't lost your job "yet", had a DUI "yet", been jailed "yet"...etc., you'll have lost the appetite for trying the lastest gimmick and hopefully you will recognize that raw pain as an opportunity to find and live the life that you deserve.
Best all!
Glad you dropped in also, Iceman! Always love your wisdom and inspiration. ~Reenie~
Good post.
I appreciate all of the encouraging messages here. I need reminders that this can be done. I slip now and then, but like was mentioned in an earlier post, I am doing it less and less. One of these times it will be my last drink I know. On the mention of HALT, I think my biggest thing is that I'm very lonely. I just need to get over that I don't have to be a drinker to have a relationship. I'm 59 and single. I'm so worried sometimes that I'll never find someone if I don't drink. That's the obstical I need to get over.
Sharon, I'm 60, been divorced once and widowed twice...I don't think I'm ever lonely. There are so many things to do and learn when you're not hungover and spending so much time drinking. I love my life now.
What worries me (from past experience, believe me!) is your comment about not finding somebody if you don't drink...the biggest worry would be what kind of man, relationship and life do you get?
I know one thing...I've been way more lonely when I'm with somebody in a drunken relationship than I could ever be now.
I would suggest a book called "Single" by Jody Ford...you can learn to love and appreciate yourself first. It will only get better and better!
Thanks, Irenems. I will check out that book. I know that you are right. I do need to love myself first. Thanks for the reminder.
A little humor... I mentioned that my biggest trigger is boredom so to combat that this weekend I brought home the "Fifty Shades of Grey" book series. The irony is that the characters in those books drink constantly. Every meal, every night, every time a stressful situation comes up! If I wanted a distraction from alcohol this weekend it definitely backfired! Good news is that I had a chuckle over it and kept reading. No cravings. I guess that's progress. Hope everyone is staying strong this weekend.
I have been sober now for 2 ½ years. I seriously can't believe how much my life has changed without alcohol. I have learned how much stronger I can be mentally. I can now speak my mind and not feel guilty. I can go to a bachelorette party knowing that everyone will have a ride home safely. I can still dance on tables, and know exactly what happened the next morning.
My sister on the other hand went into detox for a forth time (that we know of). Vodka right out of the bottle in order to take the shakes away is not the way she wanted to live life, however its the only way she knows how to cope with stress.
I recently had a friend tell me he wishes I would start drinking again because I was more mellow when I drank. I wanted to tell him to fuck off, but I bit my tongue. I simply said I will never go back to drinking, and I would appreciate his support with it. If you don't like me the way I act, tough shit.
I am so very happy being sober, and I can tell you from experience, it does get easier, but it takes LOTS OF TIME. You need to stay strong and remember that every day you don't drink, you are creating a kick-ass, bad-ass you! You are going to love yourself.
Thanks for the post, suzyq....you are so right, that it does take alot of time.
Life is so good without alcohol, and it only continues to get better, just the opposite of drinking and the hell that "life" brings.
All you newbies, hang in there...it isn't easy to stay sober in the beginning, but it does get better and easier...the rewards can't even be explained.
You have inspired me over the last year, suzyq1234. Good for you for standing up for your new healthy way of life! Dance on those tables with pride!
Thanks for you great post!
28 days and counting. A little disappointed i haven't seen much weight come off, but at least I'm not creating more problems with alcohol so I'm happy. I do feel better every day too.
It's amazing how much better you feel each day, isn't it?
Good for you.
Sigh... Blew it on day 8. I made it through day 7 (Wednesday) but it was really tough. And, my AV just go louder and louder on day 8 (yesterday), starting early in the day. I just got worn out, again, and gave in. This is the 3rd time in the last year or so that I've gotten 7 days but gave in on day 8.
So here I sit with a horrible hangover being completely non-productive at work. I hate alcohol.
I know how you feel. I go for weeks and months at a time sober but I've been slipping up at least once a week lately because of emotional stuff and just life changes, and spent Thursday pretty hungover after drinking a bunch of wine. It sucks but if you can recognize a pattern it's helpful to anticipate your breaking point, and then figure out how to beat it.
Today my therapist suggested getting a bracelet or something to wear so that when I go to reach for wine or something, I'll see it and be reminded of what alcohol will do to me and the reasons I shouldn't drink, so I'm going to give it a try. There was a time when I'd think that was not going to be helpful, but now I'm all in. Good luck to you and I am sure you'll find what works as well. Take care :)
That's a great idea! I have a charm bracelet and I have one charm on there that reminds me of my commitment to sobriety. No one else would know looking at it but I know and that makes all the difference. Every little bit helps.
I purposely scheduled an appointment with my personal trainer yesterday to keep me motivated and get some reinforcement for the holiday weekend. My plan is to play in the garden most of the time, and socialize only at breakfast events where the likelihood of alcohol is slim, but with some people not entirely out of the question! When I saw someone last weekend having a beer at 10AM it was a reminder of what NOT to be like.
Good luck and prayers to all for a fun and sober weekend!
Sounds like you have a good plan and I may borrow it.
I think having a plan in place for this weekend is so smart. We don't have any social events to attend but for me it's boredom that sets me off. I intend to keep busy. Have a great weekend everyone. Let's all meet back here on Tuesday with a sense of accomplishment!
Made it through day 6. Woot! I even got another workout in last night (2 days in a row). That hasn't happened often in the last several years, even though I used to take it for granted. As well as regularly playing tennis, golf and sking. That was before booze took over my life...
That's terrific!!
Way to go Dog! I think you're onto something.... As long as I get my sleep, I feel great! Just finished a quick 9 holes...without any alcohol! Are you kidding me??? What better place to have a beer or 6 but on the golf course. I played so well, felt so focused? Who needs booze when it feels so good to do without it! Wow...I can't believe I'm writing this....
Made it through day 5. I actually got in a decent cardio workout at the gym tonight. Usually I'm so energyless and lethargic the first 3 or 4 days after my last drink that I can barely muster the energy to take my dog on a decent walk (I always take him to the park once or twice a day but that only requires me to launch tennis balls for him to fetch).
I used to be fit and approximately the same weight for the first 20 years of my adult life, but after my drinking got out of control I steadily put on 50-55 pounds over the next several years. I've taken about 10 of those pounds over the last 6-8 months but I'm really, really looking forward to getting back into shape and "feeling good" like I used to (before my drinking got out of control). I'm sick and tired of feeling lousy 24-7-365.
That's the attitude! It amazes me to think how much time and energy we waste on the cycle. I am an athlete. I work out 6 days a week and I have very specific training goals. I wasn't a daily drinker but the last few years I have been a binge drinker. It would take me several days to recover after a binge and my training and performance suffered. It was so pointless. Days of recovery for what? A few hours of oblivion. Ugh!
Keep it up, Sammy_Dog1! Endorphins are so much better than alcohol!
Good work guys! I'm happy for you! I had a little trouble on the weekend. Wanted to have a drink of something to help me sleep. Didn't though but I have a terrible case of insomnia. Nothing works...maybe hypnosis...I'm exhausted. That stupid bottle keeps calling my name. There's nothing lonelier than being the only one in the house whose awake at 3am after having gone to bed at 10.
Sorry to hear you're not sleeping. I have always had trouble with insomnia, too. I have found that reading at night helps a lot. Have you tried natural sleep aids like melatonin or herbal teas? Celestial Seasonings makes a few good ones. Eventually you'll get so tired that you'll sleep and establish a good sleeping pattern. If all else fails remind yourself that alcohol actually inhibits sleep and it's a lot lonelier to be the one with a hangover the next day. Count backwards tonight and sweet dreams.
Very good point imabeachbum. Thanks for that... I forced myself to work out last night and actually did do a little reading. Broke down and too 1/2 a prescription sleeping pill. I've never found melatonin or valerian to be effective for me. I did end up getting a decent night sleep and feel better today. I'm trying to kick the sleeping pills too but sometimes you just gotta do what ya just gotta do. You're right about the lonely hangovers too. So true... I'm very glad I didn't go there... thanks again!
Yay for you! Glad you got some sleep. Your comment about being lonely reminded me of something. I attended AL-Anon meetings a few years ago to help me with a family member's alcoholism. There I was exposed to the term H.A.L.T. which stands for hungry, angry, lonely or tired. It helps you to focus when you feel out of control and like you might slip into a bad habit or do something you might regret. In our case, before we give in to the beast and have that first drink stop and ask yourself am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired? If any of those are true try to resolve that issue immediately if you can. That may be all you need to stop yourself from slipping. It has worked for me not just with sobriety but in dealing with other situations as well. Thought I'd pass it on.
Thanks again! I will try and keep that in mind. H.A.L.T.!
Trying to keep my grip on things this week despite a lot of emotional upheaval. Here's to not losing that grip to beer.
Well, I made it through day 4 (I've had numerous day 4's) and am on day 5 today. I slipped the last 2 times I've been on day 5 (both instances w i the last 4 or 5 weeks). I think I just get worn out from the tiredness, energylessness, lethargy and foggy head, etc.
I've been physically feeling quite lousy the last few days but I feel a little better today, so far. I don't want to keep going through this vicious cycle.
I'm determined to make it through today and keep moving forward. But, I've said that before... Alcoholism is a vicious beast.
P.S. I tried to post last night but the site wouldn't post my submission. This site gets a bit fickle at times.
Been there with you Sammy. Keep working at it. We're all here for for you.
This time on day 5 you logged on here instead of grabbing a drink. That's progress. Keep going.
It is a challnge. But I am up to it. Need to focus on who and why I am doing this. One minute, one day at a time.
Ir doesn't matter who comes with me on this journey, but I hope that those I care for will join me. Cannot blame them if they don't - for too long I left them on the side of the road as I took my own selfish journey.
This is about me becoming the person I used to be, the person I need to be. The husband and father I should have been and can be.
Thanks to all of my fellow LIVESTRONG teammates for the support you give me.
Two nights ago I took a sip of my husband's drink. I don't know why, but the instant I did I regretted it, only for not being aware of my actions for those few minutes in time. I don't know what to make of it. Or if I should say I have now started over at Day 1. I've not added to it by drinking more since then, but the guilt is eating me.
And that is one the ways we learn...this road to sobriety is not easy or for the faint of heart. I don't think there are many of us that just quit and that's it, end of story. My journey has been like a roller coaster, and several times I gave in to realize that I can never drink again.
Get over the guilt and move on!
~Reenie~
Don't worry about whether it is day 1 or not. Rejoice in the fact that you stopped yourself when you did realize what you were doing. Use the experience as momentum to keep you moving forward and not a possible excuse to slide backward. We are human and the best thing we can do is learn and move on.
It's just that every time I make a long period of time I think this is the time I've finally "made it."
I've been ruminating on it. I realized this morning that in my journey I have gone from daily to less frequently, from large volumes to smaller. My slip ups have been getting longer and longer apart, and included smaller and smaller volumes of booze each time. I did not use it as an excuse to go overboard, or have even just "a little bit more." So I suppose all things considered, I'm easing up on myself.
My journey continues.
Good for you!!
haven't had any alcholic drinks for 5 days now tomorrow will be 6!!!!
i used to drink every night for about a year!!!
Awesome! Keep going!
Big thumbs up!
By Sammy_Dog1 on May 26, 2012 at 11:30 AM
quasibonko, your therapist's suggestion sounds like a good idea. I'm not a bracelet person/guy but I'll try to find some sort of band that will make do. I keep a note in my wallet that reminds me that if i drink I will regret it and just continue perpetuating the cycles, etc. But a visual aid that I see when I'm reaching for a bottle of wine at the grocery store just might have an added effect, since I tend not to take out the note in my wallet, and read it, when my AV is screaming loudly.
Starting on day 2. It's a sunny day in my city and I'm off to take my dog to the park.