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Member Comments
By tlc0925 on November 20, 2009 at 07:56 AM
I am stopping the dare. I have no desire to do drugs, I am even trying to slowly wean myself off the inhalers I have been on since I was 9. Its coming very close to a year since I have done a pill, I have had no alochol in over a year. If I start wanting to do these things again, I am taking the dare again. But, I feel free =)
By angelovearth on November 20, 2009 at 01:00 PM
Congratulations! I hope I never see you again. ;-) GOOD FOR YOU!!!
By angelovearth on November 18, 2009 at 05:28 PM
It's been almost 3 months since I last smoked weed. I feel great! Clear. Reality is much better than I imagined it.
By AaronDye on November 10, 2009 at 02:43 PM
Besides necessary prescription medicine, I've been clean today. It's so hard doing it by yourself and I'm afraid to reach out for help because I don't want anybody judging me for my addictions. I have to have faith in myself to see this through, and anybody that joins my corner, God bless you.
By popejackson on November 12, 2009 at 01:11 PM
God bless you too Aaron. You are not alone either. What has amazingly worked for me is looking at decisions being my will or the Lord's will. I just choose to do his will, and it ends there. So many things that I could rationalize for myself, but I knew were still wrong.
I also like this saying, "That we are only as sick as the secrets that we keep".
Be well and best wishes.
By AaronDye on November 15, 2009 at 01:48 PM
Thank you for the kind words. My pain stims a lot from a car wreck recently and a near prognosis of Prostate Cancer. Ends up I just have an enlarged prostate but others that have the affliction can attest to how painful it can be. I don't know, maybe I've gotten it worse or possibly not. I will not give up my battle; I know I will stumble and that is where I need help to pick myself back up. Again, thank you for the reply. I means all the difference today.
By bexgothope on November 16, 2009 at 10:02 AM
you dont need to do this alone.
November 16
Alone no more
â
By angelovearth on November 18, 2009 at 05:27 PM
God bless you Aaron. Sorry you feel like you're being judged. That feeling sucks. But as you know, all the power you need is within YOU. Also wanted to say, that my husband has an enlarged prostate on occasion and I recently read that Evening Primrose Oil is to help reduce that. He's been using it and feel better...maybe you could try it if you want. It's natural.
By AaronDye on November 15, 2009 at 01:45 PM
I was hurting still and I was totally anguished so I had some older medicine that is still prescribed, but I'm gonna dock myself a point for not flying solo through the turbulence.
By bexgothope on November 9, 2009 at 08:45 AM
1267 days
By AaronDye on November 8, 2009 at 08:34 PM
They are prescription drugs but they are just as bad. I want my body to be drug free.
By tlc0925 on November 6, 2009 at 09:03 AM
Just thought I'd say, I have quit smoking. Its been 5 days. Its coming up on a year that I haven't done a pill. November 28th, the day I found out I was pregnant last year. I have a bottle of vodka in my fridge, and I haven't touched it besides to cook with it. I made a dessert for my mom&dad last night with it. I haven't smoked weed since Early September. I feel really, really good. This time last year, I lost a lot of weight. I'd barely eat, and stay high all the time. I'd drink or snort a pill if I was hungry. The only time I would eat is if I was coming down from a high after smoking weed. I was consuming around 300 calories a day. But, I got to the point where I would just drink as I was coming down. I weigh more than I did last year, but guess what? I am losing weight, and eating. This is new to me lol. I really like this. I feel like a person. Not an empty space for drugs to fill. Its great. Oh, I have also quit chocolate lol. That was harder than the cigs. =P
By angelovearth on November 6, 2009 at 04:38 PM
Congratulations on quitting smoking and the rest of your achievements! It's awesome when you know YOU'RE in control of what happens to your life. I too have quit smoking weed and quit smoking cigs after 24 years, but, lol, I can't even BEGIN to attempt the chocolate addiction I have. ;)I'm trying to cut down on the sugar and I've switched to dark chocolate, 70% cocoa or more. What you've done really takes a lot of discipline! Great job on EVERYTHING you've achieved! You're an inspiration!
By amaslaney on October 15, 2009 at 11:51 PM
I have really been thinking about shooting up lately. It seems like no matter what I'll lose, its worth losing just to feel good. What I did dope, I was thin-now im 150 lbs. My body isnt supposed to look like that. Im scared. Once I'm off probation, Im going to back. I dont want to but its just inevitable. At least I'll be pretty. Hopefully this goes away...along with my stomach.
By angelovearth on October 16, 2009 at 03:00 PM
C'mon. That's no way to think. Think positive! What's a few pounds? Take another dare, if you dare, and start exercising. You'd be surprised how good you'll feel. Stay strong!
By dyermaker on October 23, 2009 at 10:14 PM
Gaining weight is a natural part of coming off dope. So unless you plan on doing dope for the rest of your life, you're going to inevitably have to gain some weight to get clean. Dope increases your metabolism, energy, heart rate, activities, along with making it impossible to eat to lose actual weight. Eating hardly any food is not a technique for fat loss. Do some research. When you stop using, your metabolism slows, but only because of the damage that has been done to it through the drug use. Overtime, it will stabalize and your body can metabolize food properly, and you can again be thin. In order to keep your body burning fat, you need to eat at least 1200 calories, and this is if you lay in bed all day in did nothing! If you don't eat this amount, you are burning some fat, but you are also going through a ton of muscle. I did dope to lose weight myself, but it was before I knew how this whole weight loss thing truly works. When you don't eat the calories your body needs for basic funtions to work properly (organs, etc.) your body holds on to your fat along with every morsel of food you put in your mouth and tries to store it, because it thinks you're starving! Your body also begins eating away at lean muscle (which is why a lot of people who do dope look flabby)
By dyermaker on October 23, 2009 at 10:15 PM
(Pt. 2)
I used to think dope was the answer for easy weight loss. It will give you immediate weight loss (sometimes overnight) but the weight loss is coming from water weight, muscle, and possibly even your heart. Its just not worth it if you want long term weight loss (and happiness), which it sounds like you do. Dope will hinder your weightloss in the long run as well as destroy your body, brain, spirit and the people around you.
Sorry if this was 'lectury' at all. I just have been exactly where you're at, with the same mindset when I began putting some pounds back on... and it is the wrong direction to go. I have now been able get my metabolism back to normal and have lost all the weight I gained. You have to think of the damage that the dope has done to your body, and that it naturally is going to take time for your body to get back to normal, but IT WILL, if you stay clean.
I wish you all the best
By mmthewaif on November 5, 2009 at 09:57 AM
I used to be on the "Stem-Fast" diet. Sure, my jean size was smaller, but my teeth were falling out, my skin tone was sallow, my eyes were bloodshot, my nails were ragged, burns and blisters on various body parts...oh, YEAH - a REAL beauty! Not to mention the total deterioration of personal relations and social acceptability.
Bright eyes,genuine smiles and the peaceful demeanor of a clear conscience - these are qualities of timeless and TRUE beauty. When I stop judging myself so harshly, I can accept the beauty of myself and others - and you are a worthy and beautiful person.
By tlc0925 on November 6, 2009 at 09:12 AM
honey, I can PROMISE you, shooting up will not help you. I just had a baby 3 months ago. I weighed 314 pounds AFTER I had him. This time last year, I was doing drugs. I went on a stint where I barely ate and just stayed high. I dropped 80 pounds in 3 months. I stopped cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant. I gained it all back, plus what my Dr called my 'actual baby' weight. What I gained after I gained all my drug-lost weight back. Of course I would gain. I didn't lose it eating healthy and exercising, I lost it by starving myself. every bite of food I put in my mouth, my body held onto and stored as fat. I put on 60 of that 80 pounds back in really quickly, because I was eating like crazy. My body was trying to make up for all the nutrients my body was missing to grow a baby. Since I had my son, I have lost almost 40 pounds. By not doing drugs, eating frequently, and exercising. If you quit, yeah you will gain weight. But your ONLY 150 pounds. Its 10x easier for you to get out and exercise and work off calories than someone 120 more pounds than you, such as myself. Eat healthy, it'll help you through withdrawls. Its what best for you. I am beautiful and I am what you would call fat. REAL fat. Skinny does not equal pretty. Like another lady said, having horrible looking skin,teeth, and hair and being stick thin is not pretty.
By bexgothope on November 6, 2009 at 10:34 AM
GIRL. i blossomed when i stopped using. 200lbs. i got down to 130. (a little heavier now cause i just stopped smoking.) give yourself a chance... which is more important? your life or your looks (which you will lose anyway)? heroine addicts are NOT pretty.
By bexgothope on November 6, 2009 at 10:32 AM
5/22/06-- JUST FOR TODAY!!! --- Keep it movin'!
By mistylou69 on October 26, 2009 at 10:16 AM
Starting over on this. Wish me luck!
By angelovearth on October 26, 2009 at 01:27 PM
You can do it mistylou69! No luck about it. Use your minds' power.
By mmthewaif on November 5, 2009 at 09:51 AM
Hold onto your desire for something better for your life. You ARE worth it and it DOES get better!
By Anonymous on November 1, 2009 at 10:02 PM
Smoked weed with John then again with the Amandas when they got here.
By Anonymous on November 1, 2009 at 10:03 PM
Sorry that was supposed to go in my notes not on the group. My bad guys.
By newlifeofalex on September 2, 2009 at 10:16 AM
I was up till 4am... thinking. Thinking about the waste of time, money, energy, health- everything- that is wasted by getting high. Chasing after some fucking high- one that i don't even get anymore. Smoke a fucking 8th in a day and not even feel... stoned... or different. Just feel like sinking in to the couch. Sunday and last weekend i did coke- which i was always so strongly against- i always thought it would kill me. The first time it didn't, nor the second, or third.... but two weekends in a row is way too close, and i can tell i'm getting way to interested in it. I'm tired of my apartment smelling like cigarettes and bong water. Being afraid to invite family over because of it... living in filth because i lack the energy....
I want to be healthy! i want to be able to run without stopping to cough up a lung! I want to be able to push myself, instead of giving up because i've decided i can't do it- or don't want to.
I have a life to get on with!
So- no drugs, no cigarettes- day one has begun!
By paigeens on September 6, 2009 at 12:35 PM
Hi, I feel like I just read my own journal! I know all of those feelings. Sometimes I can't even tell if I'm high or not, so why am I doing it? I certainly don't have the money for it. BUT, you can do it. I can do it. Put the paraphenilia in a new location, out of sight.
I too got into the coke thing, but when I stopped drinking I found that I quit making the decision to buy it. It is a slipery slope, and frankly the first line is great, and after that it's just trying to get back that feeling, that will never come back.
Pot has been my lifestyle for 20 years and I'm 4 days in with no weed. I even refused a hit from a friend...unheard of!
It will get easier....
By STACKONE on September 9, 2009 at 09:35 PM
Good work mate. That's motivational.
By Anonymous on October 29, 2009 at 06:01 PM
That's awesome! Congratulation keep it up! You're an inspiration
By tlc0925 on September 14, 2009 at 08:14 AM
So, I haven't done a pill in 10 months. I found out I was pregnant, and gave up weed, alcohol, pills, and cigs. That was my LIFE for awhile. My son is almost 6 weeks old. I smoked weed a week ago. I had a MAJOR anxiety attack (supposed side affect to being knocked completely out for surgery), and it helped me as much as I hate to say it. Haven't gotten high since. I had a c-section, and it got infected. I was on a morphine drip (i think I was out of it, it was STRONG), with the little button I controlled, for three days straight in the hospital. Then I was on some type of other pills, I really don't remember much. All I know is they would alternate.they sent me home with Percocet & loratab, which I have a biiig problem with. With a newborn I was stressed, and every spare second I had those pills were all I could freaking think about! First time I had been tempted in 10 months! Prescription Drug abuse is rampant around here, too. I took them as prescribed, and as much as I wanted to crush one up, I didn't. It was very hard. I am proud of myself, I would have abused them last year, no questions asked. Hopefully, I can keep being pill free. Weed isn't a weakness for me. I don't care about it like the pills. =/ They are treating me for post partom anxiety with some rip off version of Xanax, and that's another problem pill. I've went ten months & I want to continue.
By Anonymous on September 14, 2009 at 11:32 PM
Good for you! You can do it; and if you can't, there are plenty of support groups that can and will help.
By mrlnamarie on October 5, 2009 at 08:57 PM
Hi TLC,
I have Fibromyalgia and have lived on pain pills for years. With trying to loose weight and control the pain I go through, I don't know what I would do without my pain meds; BUT, in my heart of hearts, I really want to be pill free. It's been so long I don't know what it feels like. I know that it's an addiction, but I don't know just yet what other alternative there is for me. One day at a time. Good for you that you realized that it was a problem. I know how you feel when it's the only thing on your mind. How did you just stop?
By Anonymous on October 15, 2009 at 05:39 AM
Its awesome that you went your whole pregancy without pills or weed or anything, I know it seems like a given, but so many women dont and their kids end up with problems. I wish you the best sweetie. Withdraws are killing me so I keep giving in I know I shouldnt, I hate that its this hard how was it for you??
By tlc0925 on October 29, 2009 at 12:50 PM
What made me stop was my son. I am adopted, and my birth mom adopted me out at 8 months because she was addicted to pills among other things. She stopped when she found out she was pregnant with me, but she couldn't stick to staying sober. I refused to be like her, to not be able to take care of my own child because I 'loved' the drugs more. I have started smoking again. I was at 5 cigs a day, and now I am down to just one almost ready to give that one up. I Stopped taking all the pills the Dr had me on a 3 weeks ago. I haven't smoked any weed in a month and a half, and I haven't drank or done a pill in almost a year =). It feels great.
By angelovearth on October 12, 2009 at 06:27 PM
I quit smoking cigs on Sept. 24th and haven't smoked weed since the weekend after that. I've been smoking both for MANY years. Like over 20. I've finally accepted that I'm an addict and I can never even take just one puff cuz I'll be right back where I started. I'm also a runner. I used to smoke before and after I ran. Pathetic, right? I can totally feel my lung capacity improving. I'm up to 6 miles every other day. My head is clear. I can think straight. I feel much better. I'm never going back again, that's why I joined here.
By popejackson on October 23, 2009 at 10:19 AM
I just wanted to say that I feel inspired by your story and your effort. Getting to that place in our minds to quit forever is huge.
Behavioral choices are simply a decision we have complete control over. Enjoy each breath on all of your future runs!
By angelovearth on October 26, 2009 at 01:21 PM
Thank you for saying that popejackson. I totally agree and am soooo glad that I'm finally at that place. It really is all in the mind and we have complete control over it.
By rocket88 on August 22, 2009 at 09:15 PM
dark outside and in, no moon in sky no meth in me. cold turkey tastes like shit
By Anonymous on August 23, 2009 at 08:12 PM
Keep it up! I have done the cold turkey stuff more that one time and I know what your going through. You have done so dang good to stop. Keep going.
By amaslaney on October 15, 2009 at 11:54 PM
Since you already felt like shit, you might as well wait it out a bit more. Not as easy as it sounds, I know. Guess Im not one to preach. Good luck though.
By angelovearth on October 16, 2009 at 03:02 PM
Wait. There's the light. See it? Look deeper. There it is. Keep looking, you'll see it...
By amaslaney on October 15, 2009 at 11:51 PM
Thank god for methadone.
By Anonymous on October 15, 2009 at 05:33 AM
Today I took a little of a pill not very much, sniffed half a loretab 5 when I got to work. I need to stop completely soon, but its alot less than it was before, it takes the edge off withdraw when I'm working, its horrible if I dont. =(
By Anonymous on October 13, 2009 at 07:23 AM
I have been drug free for one week and have no desire for it. I thank God for removing the thorn from my side! Lord I love you and I need you every second of the minute! Hallelujah!
By Anonymous on October 13, 2009 at 07:17 AM
I want to live a drug free life and be about the God's business!
By Anonymous on June 23, 2009 at 12:30 PM
This is the hardest for me... my on and off drug use is a crazy cycle
By stellarose on June 23, 2009 at 06:13 PM
Never give up. You will do it.
By dyermaker on October 8, 2009 at 12:31 PM
You said it perfect.
"I'm in the depths of a major depression right now and I KNOW THE CURE. Unfortunately, that only lasts a day. If I'm lucky."
I'm right there with you. I managed to quit for a month or so and was feeling SO much better. Then... life happened, and I got into the thinking pattern that one time with a friend wouldn't cause me to fall back into my old patterns. But sure enough... that "one time" turned into everyday, once again. I've finally come to the realization that I CANNOT smoke in moderation. One time, for me, turns into all day everyday. I've cut off a lot of good friends because I'm practically house-bound due to my anxiety and depression becoming increasingly worse. And then the realization that I've put myself in a lonely, lonely place... all because of pot. I didn't have a quit date, but since I've read all of your posts... well, it motivated me. I'm gonna finish up my last bag and join you guys in the fight.
Julie