Dare to Stand On Your Own And Succeed

142members Daring to Stand on your own and succeed

So many people think they can't do it alone and stay in unhealthy or unhappy relationships. I dare you to take charge of your future and put your life back on track. Even if you end up by yourself you're never alone!

Member Comments

By mrippetoe on November 17, 2009 at 06:12 AM

Hello all! I know I just took this dare, but I am writing this to get started. I have been unemployed for about 16 months and have started to change my life. I recently starting three home based businesses: photography, web design, and freelance writing. I think these will help with everything my family and I are going through. The best thing has to be the freelance writing. I write from home online and get published and paid for it. It is helping to get the ends closer to meeting. I know in my heart that things will be better real soon. I wish everyone else loads of luck with their committments here. Good Luck!

By PunkyKermit on September 28, 2009 at 11:56 AM

Hi All! I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 9 years. I finally had to realize that he wasn't going to change. He's an unmotivated person who will not go to college, land a good career, or take control of his life. I'm a college graduate and have big plans for my life and couldn't have him dragging me down anymore. It was scary. I still miss him sometimes. But I feel like I can finally breathe. Now I just want to be single for a while to get back in touch with my goals and to get back in shape. It's hard being the only single friend, but I know it's best for me. I need to fix me before I can give anything to anyone else.


By Anonymous on October 7, 2009 at 02:22 AM

Good for you!


By rrbutterflykiss on November 5, 2009 at 10:05 AM

Definitely. "Me" comes 1st for a better "Us". After my marriage, I missed having a significant other. I dated as I didn't like being alone and was in a relationship but soon realized I was settling because I didn't want to be alone. I've been alone and it's great! When that person comes to my life, I will be ready as I won't have any emotional or physical ties with anyone.

Seems you opened your eyes and am always happy to hear when a woman takes that plunge and goes for it.

By Anonymous on July 29, 2009 at 07:16 AM

Been laid off since December from the Engineering field with still no real hope despite sending out tons of resumes. Wife separated from me end of May, with the layoff and finances being the final straw she couldn't handle amongst our issues. Had to put one of my 15 year old cats to sleep last month two month after the separation. I have my own business that isn't big enough to support me financially yet, only helps with with the unemployment money to just make the bills that I can't put on my CCs...which are nearly maxed now.

But, I'm trying to build my own self confidence, meet new people, keep applying for jobs, and promoting my business. I've been getting more interest in my products recently and hope the trend continues, but also still hope for the solid steady income come along until my business can support me.

I feel once I can conquer a few of these things and grow myself both financially and mentally, I will be a different person in society, and still hope that my wife and I get back together as she does the same.

Tonight I'm going to a new networking group to promote myself and/or my business.


By Watchet on October 8, 2009 at 06:37 PM

A late reply is still a reply, I hope?

The best of luck to with all of this: you're taking all the right steps and you're taking them deliberately. It's the best thing you could possibly do.

Let us know how it's going.


By rrbutterflykiss on November 5, 2009 at 09:59 AM

After this, it will only go uphill for you. Stay busy. Volunteering helps put you in perspective. This will help see it's not too bad. I know it's easier said that done. I was there.

I left my ex with my 3 month old son. I got my own apartment and 2 yrs later, my mother was diagnosed with cancer, I was her primary care taker, I lost my job, I had a starting business, I was hospitalized with a possible brain aneurysm (was negative).

Today I have a beautiful house, moved from San Antonio to Austin/Round Rock (due to job offer), Got 2 degrees in Computer Science, 2 dogs (Tulip & Rascal), nice soccer mom car, volunteering, great job, great boss.

Stay focus on your goals. I'm sorry your wife couldn't handle the financial status that we at one point or another go through.

Stay strong my friend & keep us posted.

By swedishzoe on October 14, 2009 at 03:56 AM

On my won today...getting easier?

By swedishzoe on October 12, 2009 at 02:30 PM

I feel tired today...off work and went to the gym this morning...trying to keep busy and have a meeting tonight

By swedishzoe on October 11, 2009 at 04:48 PM

I am back home after running all summer...lots to do and gratifying to knock it out!

By swedishzoe on October 10, 2009 at 07:35 PM

I stood on my own today and I was successful! One day at a time!

By drowsydoll on April 13, 2009 at 01:29 AM

I want to divorce my husband, but this co dependence is blocking me. Tired of being the victim. Any advise?


By KyashiAmara on August 19, 2009 at 12:43 PM

Dont allow yourself to be a victim. Take charge and action. I know it can be hard. I left my ex of 10 yrs with no job, no money, no home, nothing but a dog, and a suit case. I now have a new car, job, my own apartment, even raising my niece. Leaving him, even though it was so frighting....it was the best thing. I would not be me or have everything i have now with him. I will never let someone else keep me from being who i was meant to be. You can do this!


By Anonymous on August 20, 2009 at 12:48 PM

Dear drowsydoll,

Try relationcounseling first. Otherwise u could fall into the same pitt.

kindest regards

Marc
The Netherlands


By swedishzoe on October 9, 2009 at 07:03 PM

alanon!

anon means right now and it teaches you to focus on you...

I can relate!

By MissEnergizer on September 9, 2009 at 04:11 PM

I've always said that I won't get back together with any of my ex's, but never stuck to it. This time I'm going to have the support to stick with it and be freed from the loop!!

By KyashiAmara on August 19, 2009 at 12:39 PM

I just got out of a 10 year relationship and finally standing completely on my own. I have never been so happy or feel as free. Thought it is scary not to have a back up or feel like someone one is there for me. Even though in reality i know he never really was. I am raising my 9 yr old niece alone and plan to start college in the spring. So things are really looking up! It does get lonely and can be hard some days, but no stress, drama, fighting, crying, more fighting, etc... i am happy.

By Anonymous on August 9, 2009 at 05:12 AM

I'm 26 years old and have always been that type of person that was always surrounded by friends and was seen as 'popular'. Except something has never felt right. I've always battled depression and have turned to 'recreational' drugs and alchohol under the guise of just having a good time. All the while covering a deep seated, yet inexplicable sadness that i felt.
Deep down i always had the feeling that i could never achieve all those things that others achieve, and yet i so desperatly wanted.
Now however i have realised that i have every opportunity to achieve all i want in life. All i have to do is back my self, be honest with my self, start thinking about the consequences of all my decisions, constatantly try to improve all aspects of my life, and give my self every chance to do so by staying clean and sober.
Here goes!


By jy-89 on August 11, 2009 at 09:21 AM

Hi, I reached this sort of stage a few years ago while still at school. I managed to be strict enough with myself that I am now at College. I managed to achieve my goals, not that I'm saying that all the problems go away - I joined this website after overcoming this problem because there are still things I want to achieve but feel that with the support and just space to vent that further goals are possible.

I am trying to say that I'm sure that if you really want it you to can achieve your goals just stay dedicated, use this space to fall into rather than drugs and alchohol. Even if its privately written (most of my stuff is) having somewhere to write things down and get them out of your head helps.

Best of luck, keep dedicated


By cdstr on August 11, 2009 at 06:15 PM

hi there,
i was something like you too when i was at that age (now i am 35) - on the outside, everyone thought of me as "good, cheerful, doing well, happy..." but deep inside i haf insecurities, hurts that were not settled, and i resorted to emotional eating... it sort of gave me comfort .. for that short period while i was eating! but then after tt... life jus appears as negative as it seems ...

firstly - stay positive and be close to those who care and love you. and of course, you must love yourself!
secondly - yes, kick out any -ve thoughts that come into your mind. don't let the dark side win! we are always tempted to feel bad about ourselves. be an "action" person, rather than "reaction" (from others' actions on you)
thirdly - life is a gift. remember that. many of us tend to forget how much we should cherish our loved ones and good health... until a crisis hits...

my mom died of cancer last year. my whole perspective of life changed.

all the best. you are young - the future is whatever you want.
take care!

By sarahuk79 on May 9, 2009 at 01:19 AM

After seperating from my husband after a turbulent few years of being unhappy and being unable to trust him, I am at university with 2 young children. My life would be easier if I was together with my husband, but I know deep down in my heart its not right and I wouldn't be happy. I'm looking to gain the strength to be happy on my own, and succeed.


By HJHGold on July 22, 2009 at 07:55 AM

Hey there Sara, I wanted to say sorry! Hopefully you can find someone else to take his place as he was not the right one... I guess things happen for a reason in life.


By slynnphan on July 22, 2009 at 11:40 AM

Hi, I wanted you to know that I really admire your strength. Keep up the good work.

By HJHGold on July 22, 2009 at 07:59 AM

I want to be successful and achieve my dreams. I want to fall in love/find the love of my life and know that my sufferings with gluten and sugar was only GOD testing me!


By slynnphan on July 22, 2009 at 11:35 AM

You can do it!! Just believe and trust in God that he will bring you a wonderful guy and give you your dreams. I want the same thing, and I know that guy is somewhere out there. Stay upbeat and BELIEVE, it will soon come.

By matthere1 on June 27, 2009 at 10:32 AM

Be proactive and work towards being financially secure.

By drowsydoll on June 12, 2009 at 07:06 AM

car repairs, new job with lot of responsibility, just got paid and already broke. i feel stretched out my limit. Gas got turned off, had to pay 279. dollars, so no hot water till they turn it back on. Husband got new job, but after first day car broke. I had to pAY FOR THAT TOO. mY SON IS ON PROBATION, HAVE BEEN PAYING THE FINES. When will it ever end?

By drowsydoll on May 25, 2009 at 05:16 AM

Well, I got the promotion I was wanting with a fat raise. lot more responsibility. Nervous, but confident. Now for my co dependandcy, time to make my own happiness a top goal. Time to move ahead

By Bootilicious on April 29, 2009 at 10:02 AM

I want to go to grad school. I want a new job. I want to live on my own. I always blamed my weight for not pursuing my dreams. But now I am ready to take control of my life and my destiny

By drowsydoll on April 26, 2009 at 06:14 AM

I co manage a very sucessful store and have been ther 1 year and half. I want my own store and make my own schedule, own responsibilites

By onehotmomma on April 23, 2009 at 10:16 AM

I am tired of 9 to 5, I want to make my own schedule when it is good for me. I want to workout when I want, shop when I want and even nap when I want.

By drowsydoll on April 23, 2009 at 04:50 AM

I am having the best time just being me. Loving myself is good, so is life

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