018canuck

I am entering my third year of regular use of this site.

While I have been successful in losing a significant amount of weight (37 lbs) and keeping most of that off (24), I have struggled with regaining and losing about 13 lbs each year.

There really isn't any mystery as to why: when I am at my lowest, I feel great and my dedication to logging everything and being mindful of chosing healthy foods wanes. I get overconfident and sloppy. I stop weighing myself once a week, stop making time for regular exercise and indulge myself with "treats" far too often. I delude myself into thinking I'm not putting the weight back on until my clothes stop fitting and I can no longer ignore the reality of the situation.

2012 will be the year I:

* finally stop buying tickets to the rollercoaster and lose those 13 lbs for good.

* truly accept that only giving my best part of the time is not enough - everything worth having is worth the effort and nothing worth having doesn't require continued commitment and energy.

* truly let go of the concept of the quick fix. For me, it just reinforces my rollercoaster behaviour. I must commit now to how I chose to live my life for good, not just for 4 weeks or 12 weeks. I have to stop thinking of what I'm doing as temporary, and while being open to growth and change, commit to this being how my life will be all the time.

* stop using my job and time constraints as an excuse to overindulge in treats and not make the time to stock healthy foods and exercise. Yes, my job is stressful and sometimes it sucks (big time), but I've been doing it for 16 years and that is the reality of it. The good days outnumber the bad and I'm not going to stop doing what I'm doing, and I'm not the only one with a stressful and busy life, so it is no excuse to let things spiral downward. That's just self indulgence and self sabotage. Shopping and preparing healthy foods and exercising regularly are not optional activities that I fit in around work - they must be the cornerstone that work fits around. I will focus on forms of stress release that make me feel better about myself in the long term, not which just provide some instant gratification but long term remorse.

I will do all of these things for me, because I am worth it.

Thanks to my Livestrong buddies for being on this journey with me and inspiring me to challenge myself to make positive changes. You are the best and I could not do it without you!