15 Secrets to a Better Work-Life Balance

Written by Sara Schapmann

27 March, 2018

With every gadget available to keep employees plugged in 24/7, work-life balance can seem like the stuff of fairy tales. Though they may have a hard time achieving it, Americans value a rewarding life outside of the daily grind and are happier in jobs that allow them some freedom. A March 2013 study by management consulting firm Accenture found that work-life balance contributed more to happiness and job satisfaction than factors such as money or titles. You may not be able to make drastic changes in the amount of time you’re on the clock, but small changes may help you feel better about your situation.

1. Detach From Technology

Turn off your smartphone and power down your laptop or tablet. Unplugging from the constant barrage of messages, distractions and updates can be freeing. An October 2009 study from Harvard University found that when individuals refrained from checking work email and voicemail just one night a week, they felt more positively about their job situation. Participants also reported feeling more effective at work. Determine what part of the day or evening is “safest” to power down and commit to just 30 minutes a day of technology-free time -- job-related or other. Work your way up to an hour or more per day if you like the results.

2. Schedule Downtime

Work can leave you depleted when you constantly feel like you’re giving of yourself all day long and into the evening to meet expectations. Make an effort to give back to yourself to create balance. You may be more likely to stick to some “me time” if you actually put it on your schedule. Whether you use an electronic calendar or do it the old-fashioned way with pen and paper, block out time to decompress every week and stick to it. Even if you can only devote 15 or 20 minutes a day to stepping back from the demands of work, family and social obligations, carving out this time can be refreshing and gratifying.

Related: 21 Stress-Reducing Techniques

3. Just Say No

You may not always be able to say no to new projects at work, but you do have control over many of your after-work commitments. Free time is a precious commodity, so take stock of your leisure-time activities and determine what's actually enriching your life -- and what isn't. Perhaps you have a habit of saying yes to social outings that give you little to no pleasure. Or maybe you find yourself volunteering for time-consuming tasks like leading your kids soccer team fundraiser or serving on the condo-association board. When deciding to participate in a non-work-related activity, ask yourself if it's a “must do,” a “can wait” or a “can live without” experience.

4. Spread Out Weekend Chores

If you're working long hours during the week, you may find yourself stockpiling chores and errands to tackle on the weekend. Cramming a list of tasks into days off can feel similar to work. If possible, try to squeeze a few chores into the nooks and crannies of your weekdays so that you're able to relax a little on the weekend without feeling like you're punching the clock. An October 2013 study by Stanford researchers found that Americans' emotional well-being increases notably on the weekends. Take advantage of that re-energizing weekend boost by minimizing chores and things that feel like work.

5. Explore Flex Time Options

Flextime gives employees the option to vary starting and departure times as long as they work an agreed-upon number of hours per week. Some companies also allow employees to vary the length of their workday -- putting in longer hours some days and shorter hours on others. “More companies are offering flextime,” says Paige Hall Smith, an associate professor of public-health education and director of the Center for Women’s Health and Wellness at the University of North Carolina. “Flexibility with work hours is especially important for parents who need options in order to balance demands with children.” Ask about your company’s policy on flextime. If it doesn’t have one, ask your supervisor if it’s a possibility.

6. Meditate

You can’t add hours to the day, but you can help make the existing hours count more and feel less stressful 1

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. Meditation can be good for the soul and the schedule. A 2012 study from the University of Washington found that meditation helped participants concentrate for longer periods of time, work more productively and experience less job-related stress. Give office meditation a try. If you are more effective during the day, you will get more done, and that will allow you to leave the office sooner and prevent mistakes that cause you to have to redo work.

7. Negotiate Smarter

Instead of just negotiating compensation after you’ve landed a new job or during annual reviews, negotiate for more vacation time, the option to work remotely, flextime and other work-life balance assets. “Also, consider very carefully where you work if you have the choice,” says public health educator Paige Hall Smith. “When interviewing for a job, investigate the company’s policies about working remotely, pregnancy leave and more to see if the company is really family-friendly and committed to work-life balance.” Look at reviews online and do some digging to gather clues about the work culture. You can find out a lot on your own without actually asking these questions in an interview.

8. Outsource Your Chores

Sometimes throwing money at a problem is worth the benefit to your state of mind. Pay for a little help and you’ll knock a few items off your to-do list and open up your schedule to participate in enjoyable activities during downtime. These days you can get just about anything delivered to your door -- including groceries. Housecleaning and landscaping services are abundant and often reasonably priced 1

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. There are even organizations that allow you to pay individuals to run your errands. You can set a price for professional errand runners to do everything from picking up dog food and filing your papers to doing your laundry and raking your yard.

9. Make Yourself Invaluable

Make yourself indispensable before you start setting boundaries at your work. “Do such a good job that they can’t imagine living without you,” says Leni Miller, author of “Finding Right Work: Five Steps to a Life You Love.” “Then have really clear, calm, direct lines of communication about what you need to stay healthy and productive.” Offer rational reasons for cutting back on overtime or unplugging from work email after a certain hour. If the culture is such that you feel your job will be in jeopardy for having these types of conversations, it might be time to start searching the job boards for positions that better align with your values.

10. Develop Creative Solutions

Depending on your work culture and particular situation, schedule a meeting with your supervisor to discuss ways to alleviate burnout and obtain a better work schedule. “It’s best to come up with a solution before you ask your manager to fix the problem,” says author and consultant Leni Miller. For example, team up with a co-worker on a pressing project and swap out which days you stay late. Ask if you can leave a couple of hours early a few days a week to pick up your kids from school or take care of other matters, but agree to be available via phone for emergencies and to work from home two hours in the evening in exchange.

11. Stay Active

Carving out time in your already-busy schedule for exercise may sound like a tall order, but the benefits extend beyond just physical health and are worth the time commitment. A 2013 study by Russell Clayton, an assistant professor of management at Saint Leo University in Florida, found that exercise not only lowers stress, but also helps individuals feel more confident and more equipped to deal with family and work issues. Exercise created an overall feeling of better work-life balance in participants. Hit the gym, run the stairs, ride your bike to work -- the key is to get moving.

12. Rank Your Priorities

Decide what's most important to you outside of work. Rank your outside-of-work activities and values in order of importance. If family makes the top of your list, commit to family dinner every night. If exercise is a de-stressor that you don’t want to live without, put the gym at the top of your non-negotiable list. Determine how you would most like to fill your downtime and commit to these priorities first before you engage in others. If you’re working long hours, you’ll likely need to drop some of your leisure activities and chores from time to time, but if you have a couple of important pursuits that you always fit in, you may feel less cheated of your time.

13. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

Ask yourself if you’re putting unnecessary expectations on yourself. If you’re working long hours and still trying to fit in family, friends and “me time,” letting some of the small stuff slide may improve your state of mind. Maybe dusting or the dishes can be postponed for a few days. Perhaps getting the car washed or going through your mail can wait until the weekend. Your job puts enough demands on your energy and time, so try not to compound the problem by putting pressure on yourself at home. Be good to yourself and take a break now and then.

14. Tune Into Yourself

Pay attention to when you feel most productive during the day and when you feel tired or irritated. You can track this by jotting down brief descriptions of how you feel hour by hour for a few days. Knowing when you are at your prime and ready to tackle the most pressing tasks can help you plan your day effectively. Though this approach won’t give you more hours in the day, it will curb some of the stressed-out feelings that come with trying to accomplish a hard task when you have limited energy and concentration. You’ll feel more balanced and make the most of your time.

15. Strive for Work-Life Integration

Ask yourself if your current position is aligned with your core values, skills and talents. The reality is that many jobs place demands on time beyond the standard nine to five. If you're in a career that fulfills you, these demands might not feel so intrusive. Author and consultant Leni Miller likes to use the term “work-life integration” rather than work-life balance. “When people are clear about the parameters of their right work, they are able to integrate the demands of work into their daily lives happily and without resentment,” she says. “If their work is right for them, they want to be in it.”

What Do YOU Think?

What's the biggest challenge you have maintaining balance between work and the rest of your life? What helps you better achieve this balance? Leave us a comment below and let us know.

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25 of the Best Stress-Relief Techniques

Written by Karen Pallarito

09 April, 2019

If you need to de-stress ASAP, we've compiled the best techniques you can incorporate into your everyday routine. Some only take a few minutes to start feeling calm.

Americans are feeling increasingly stressed out, according to the Gallup 2019 Global Emotions Report 12. The annual survey found that 55 percent of U.S. residents felt stressed during much of the day in 2018 — making it the fourth most-stressed country.

So, what's causing the stress? The biggest culprit, by far, tends to be financial difficulties, but jobs are also to blame.

And there's more unsettling news: Stress can negatively affect both your body and mind, causing symptoms ranging from headaches to sleep problems 13. And, according to the Mayo Clinic, unchecked stress can lead to such serious conditions as obesity, diabetes and heart disease 13.

If you're in dire need of some stress relief, these are some of the best tension-relieving techniques you can incorporate into your daily routine.

1. Treat Yo' Self

Rough day at the office? Take some time out for yourself. Schedule a massage, take a long bath or relax in the sauna. According to a May 2011 study in Supportive Care in Cancer, cancer patients who participated in regular massage therapy sessions experienced lower stress levels than those who didn't 14.

The sauna is also a great way to relax and unwind. Aside from the peace and quiet you can find during “you time,” the Journal of the American Medical Association reported in April 2015 that frequent sauna use was associated with a lower risk of cardiovascular disease-related mortality.

3. Engage in PDA

Reach out and kiss someone! In a 2008 study of 2,000 couples at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine, researchers determined that those who kissed spontaneously and often were eight times less likely to experience chronic stress and depression.

Even the simple act of saying “I love you” or expressing affection can lower your levels of stress hormones like cortisol and DHEA-S, according to a 2008 Arizona State University study published in Communication Monographs. The finding proved researcher Kory Floyd’s “affection exchange theory,” which posits that affectionate behavior has made significant contributions to human viability and fertility throughout evolution.

4. Try Aromatherapy

Stressed 3? Stop and smell the rose oil 4. “Using essential oils in your environment can actually affect the entire body, [improving] mood and reducing stress,” says natural health expert Kathy Gruver.

The reason? Aromatherapy interacts with the brain’s limbic system and hypothalamus, encouraging the release of stress-fighting serotonin, according to a 2012 study published in Oxford Academic — though some experts think it may simply be an emotional placebo.

Along with rose oil, lavender and chamomile are also effective agents for releasing stress. Depending on the type of oil, you’ll find many options for incorporating your preferred scent into daily life — from drinking teas to using diffusers to wearing them as perfume or in jewelry.

5. Stop and Smell the Flowers

Skip the oils and go straight for the real thing! The lavender flower is renowned for its calming effect on the mind and body. “It can calm you down, aid your sleep, reduce anxiety and uplift your mood," says Katie Kyleen Sabbaghian, a spiritual psychologist in Scottsdale, Az.

According to a 2018 study conducted by the University of North Florida, being around flowers significantly reduces daily stress. Researchers discovered that one in four women who participated in the study experienced a noticeable boost in mood, energy and compassion by having an element of nature, like flowers, incorporated into their surroundings.

6. Adopt a Four-Legged Friend

Pets are more than great companions, they can also be key agents in helping to soothe your stress. Interacting with these furry friends can spur a boost of oxytocin (a "happiness hormone") in your brain, according to a November 2017 study published in Scientific Reports.

Another 2002 study, published in Psychosomatic Medicine, followed 240 married couples and found that those with pets had significantly lower heart rate and blood pressure levels than those without a furry friend. The conclusion? Because people perceive pets as a supportive presence in their lives, the end result has significant cardiovascular and stress-reducing benefits. Man’s best friend indeed.

7. Connect With Friends and Family

Loneliness is bad for your health. A 2011 study from the University of California, Los Angeles revealed that social isolation and loneliness can cause the immune system to change, resulting in higher blood pressure, increased levels of the stress hormone cortisol and disruptive sleep patterns.

So get through your tough days with a little help from your friends. Whether that's grabbing a quick cup of coffee with a friends, chatting with a coworker or joining a church or social organization, surrounding yourself with people — especially positive ones — can boost your emotional wellbeing.

A 2011 study published in the Indian Journal of Psychological Medicine found that college students dealt with academic stressors better when they had a group of classmates or friends they could rely on.

8. Talk to Yourself

BodyTalk is a holistic therapy system which uses psychology to help promote physical health. “When under stress, talk to your body,” says Sabbaghian. “The cells are very connected to your mental and emotional well being. That's why we get nauseous when we are nervous, get a gut feeling when you don't trust someone or shed tears when we are sad."

Sabbaghian recommends simply sitting for a few minutes in silence, thanking your body for doing the best it can. "This activity of speaking to your body's intelligence with gratitude can be extremely grounding," she says.

9. Get Organized

Channel your inner Marie Kondo for some spring cleaning. Women who described their homes as cluttered or full of unfinished projects had higher levels of stress than those who described their homes as restorative and restful, according to a 2010 study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.

So if your desk is piled high with half-finished projects, your home is overrun with dirty laundry or your to-do list is never-ending, take some time and prioritize getting organized. Not everything needs to be perfect, but having a more organized home or work space will help you stay calm and focused.

10. Tap Into Your Inner Artist

According to a 2016 study conducted at Drexel University, creative activity significantly lessens stress in the body, regardless of artistic experience or talent. Out of 39 adults, 75 percent of the participants displayed lower levels of cortisol after crafting with markers, paper, clay and collage materials for 45 minutes without any instruction.

“Journaling, painting, singing and sculpting can be some ways of stepping out of your mind and into the present moment,” says Sabbaghian. “It takes you out of the left side of your brain which creates stress and into the right side of your brain.”

11. Keep a Journal

Ever heard of the HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) model? It’s used to illustrate the poor reaction to stress that can result when your basic needs aren’t being met — and that’s exactly where therapist and counseling educator Diane Lang’s Journal of Truth exercise comes in. For one week, her clients keep a record of how much water they drank, what they ate and when and how much sleep and exercise they got.

“At the end of the week, it shows why you’re stressed and unbalanced — whether it’s having large gaps between meals and causing your blood sugar to drop or too much caffeine or sugar,” she says. “Keeping this journal shows which basic needs are being met and what changes you need to make.”

Additionally, writing in a journal, even for just a few minutes, can be very therapeutic and allow you some time to step back from a stressful situation and reflect on why you're feeling so stressed. It's not always possible in the moment, so if you can't break away from a tense conversation, write about it afterwards and reflect on how you can handle similar situations in the future.

12. Take a Power Nap

Too busy for a nap? You may want to reconsider. Even a 20-minute power nap can work wonders. A brief nap doesn't make up for bad sleep but can help improve mood and cognitive performance compared with those who don’t nap at all, according to the National Sleep Foundation 10.

“People are actually getting the same benefit from a nap as a night of sleep,” says Sara Mednick, assistant professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside.

Surprisingly, shorter naps actually prove to be more effective than napping for 30 or 90 minutes — lengths of time that may cause grogginess. So go ahead and allow yourself to take that short siesta and consider wearing earplugs and/or an eye mask to truly unplug.

13. Tap Into Healing Energy

You may be unfamiliar with reiki, gateway healing and reflexology, but these alternative medicine modalities are becoming more mainstream. It may sound a bit out there, but according to certified energy therapist Kristin Borostyan, “when your energy is aligned, your body’s reaction to a stressful situation is significantly reduced.”

One of her go-to moves is dubbed the Hook Up. To do it, place one middle finger between your eyebrows and your other middle finger on your navel. Then gently press each finger inward and upward and hold for 15 to 30 seconds. “You might experience a sigh or a yawn,” she says. “This shows that your energies are hooked up properly.” If you try this and you don't sigh or yawn, it doesn't mean that the exercise was unsuccessful.

14. Drink Matcha Tea

If you're desperate to find your Zen but also need to stay on your game to get everything done, a cup of organic matcha tea may be just what the stress doctor ordered. “Not only does matcha make you feel calm and alert at the same time, but it’s loaded with antioxidants,” says Elizabeth Trattner, integrative and traditional Chinese medicine expert.

This powdered green tea contains high levels of L-theanine, an amino acid proved to have both psychological and physiological anti-stress qualities, according to a January 2007 study published in Biological Psychology 1. A 2003 study published in the Journal of Chromatography also found that matcha has three times as much of a potent antioxidant known as EGCG — or epigallocatechin gallate — compared to other types of green tea 2.

Consume matcha hot, cold or even latte-style with coconut milk, Trattner suggests. “Make sure to buy a bamboo whisk called a chasen to prepare it correctly.”

15. Take Time to Exercise

Get up and get moving to beat your stress. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, regular exercise helps the brain handle stress by releasing neurochemicals to help the body respond more appropriately.

There is some evidence to suggest that the release of norepinephrine is responsible for the brain's efficient handling of stress. But other researchers have a much simpler explanation.

“Biologically, exercise seems to give the body a chance to practice dealing with stress,” says Rod K. Dishman of the University of Georgia. “It forces the body's physiological systems — all of which are involved in the stress response — to communicate much more closely than usual.” So the more you exercise, the better your body becomes at communicating about and dealing with stress responses.

16. Adjust Your Smartphone Notifications

Between social media, texts and apps, it’s no wonder that smartphones have the potential to stress us out — after all, wielding a smartphone can feel like a full-time job by itself. A study presented at the 2012 British Psychological Society’s Division of Occupational Psychology Conference found that the amount of times you check your phone each day directly relates to the stress you feel.

However, that doesn't mean you have to go and abandon your phone completely. In fact, playing games or using meditation apps after work has been shown to relieve stress, according to a small August 2019 study published in JMIR Mental Health. While researchers found that gaming apps may be more helpful than mindfulness applications, both have been shown to help bust stress.

17. Remember to Breathe

People have the terrible tendency of holding their breath when they're stressed. But this only compounds the problem. Instead, try practicing deep, diaphragmatic breathing. Slow, controlled breathing can lead to decreased levels of cortisol (a stress hormone) in both men and women, according to a May 2010 study. Similar results were shown in a 2006 study published in Complementary Therapies in Medicine, which found that mental relaxation and slow breathing help lower blood pressure 8.

So when you feel stress start to creep up on you, take a few minutes and breathe deeply. There are a few techniques you can try: Breathe deeply in though your nose, hold and breathe out through your mouth; use a finger to block one nostril and breathe in through one side of your nose and out through the other; or place your hands on your belly and breathe in and out through your nose, paying special attention to how your rib cage expands laterally.

18. Don’t Be Your Own Worst Enemy

If your inner critic’s messages are deafening, it may be time to reduce them to a dull roar to save yourself the emotional wear and tear. “The way that we appraise ourselves and our corresponding self-talk impacts how we feel emotionally,” says clinical psychologist Christina O’Flaherty. “When we beat ourselves up for mistakes or shortcomings, we are more likely to feel more stressed in the face of a challenge.”

Instead, O’Flaherty advocates practicing self-compassion, a technique proved to boost happiness and optimism. “Think about times when a close friend is struggling with something and write down what you would say to her to make her feel better,” she adds. “Try treating yourself the way you would treat your friend.”

19. Eat a Healthy, Balanced Breakfast

Your food can directly impact how you handle stress and anxiety. Start your day off strategically with a complex carbohydrate like steel-cut oats. “Complex carbs cause the brain to release serotonin, a neurotransmitter which produces a calming effect on the body,” says internal medicine physician Saundra Dalton-Smith, M.D.

She adds that you can give your healthy oatmeal an extra boost of crunch and sweetness by adding raisins and sunflower seeds. “Both are rich in B vitamins, which help to reduce stress.”

Even the simple act of eating breakfast can help you de-stress. An October 2013 study published in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience that found an 89-percent anxiety reduction in those who make time for the morning ritual. But don't stop with breakfast, eating well throughout the day will keep your energy levels up, allowing you to handle stressful situations and make decisions with a clearer head.

20. Stand Up Straight

When you're stressed out, your spine is one of the first places to tense up. So it's only natural that strengthening your spine is essential for ongoing stress relief.

“Spine alignment can create a healthier nervous system which can affect the reduction of our stress levels,” says Sabbaghian. “Emotional stress also impacts those tight muscles in your neck and shoulders causing your spine to come out of alignment. Chiropractic, massage and cranial sacral work are all great solutions.”

21. Strike a (Yoga) Pose

As the yoga trainer for the Tampa Bay Lightning, Pittsburgh Pirates and Philadelphia Phillies, Dana Santas is accustomed to helping athletes in high-stress situations. Her solution? Strategic yoga poses and breathing techniques. Much of her philosophy mirrors that of a 2012 Harvard study that found holding an open, expansive posture increases testosterone and decreases cortisol levels.

One of her favorite techniques to teach is Mountain pose, in which you stand with your feet hip-distance apart, inhale and raise your arms overhead at shoulder width. Once in position, you should take 10 slow, deep breaths, emphasizing your exhalations and counting backward from 10 to one, says Santas. “The combination of being able to take deep breaths and hold an open posture is the perfect recipe for de-stressing,” she says.

22. Thump Your Thymus

When therapist Neca C. Smith trains corporate clients to reduce workplace stress, she suggests a technique known as thymus tapping. “When stress is present, the immune system shuts down,” she says. “Thymus tapping is an energy-medicine technique used to give the immune system a jolt of energy and relieve stress.”

To practice this, locate your thymus, which is at the top of your chest just below your collarbone, and use your fingers to tap for 20 seconds while slowly breathing in and out. Take it up a notch by tapping a waltz-style beat, a method recommended by holistic physician John Diamond.

23. Learn to Meditate

Meditation is a great way to quiet your mind. If you're a newbie, tuning out the noise from the outside world can be tough, but taking a few minutes each day to turn your focus inward can reap big rewards. “Guided meditation uses mental imagery and visualization to get into a place of relaxation,” says Sabbaghian.

“When you meditate, you clear away the information overload that builds up everyday and contributes to your stress.” You can find guided meditations through Deepak Chopra's website, YouTube or in an app like Calm. While smartphone games may be better for relaxation (according to the above-mentioned study), meditation apps are another great resource for non-gamers.

24. Listen to Music

If the right song can make you stop stressing and sing along, you’re not alone. A 2011 study published in the Journal of Advanced Nursing sought to examine the effects of music on those in high-stress professions.

It found that those who sat and listened to soothing music of their own selection for 30 minutes had lower perceived stress levels, heart rates and cortisol levels than those who sat quietly for the same length of time. And don’t be afraid to listen to sad songs, because they can actually improve your mood, according to a 2013 study by Japanese researchers published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology.

25. Use an Easy-to-Remember Acronym

When teaching stress management to first responders, police, firefighters and dispatchers, human resources trainer Steve Albrecht uses a simple acronym: BREADS. “It can aid in stress relief and help self-management,” he says.

According to Albrecht, it stands for:

Breathing: keeping your breath slow and steady
Relaxation: taking at least 10 minutes twice a day to shut your eyes and relax or meditate)
Exercise: five days a week for at least 30 minutes
Attitude: keeping it positive
Diet: low in carbs, high in lean proteins and moderation in caffeine and alcohol
Sleep: more and better-quality sleep, along with good pre-sleep rituals 8

Additional reporting by Jen Jones Donatelli

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