I am a teacher, small business owner, mother of a 6 year old son and 3 year old daughter. I am always busy taking care of everyone else and not of myself. I have started a diet many many times before with some success, but something has always come up (illness, house flood) that made me stop working on being healthy.
My "aha" moment came from our recent trip to Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic. Firstly, I just made it into the seatbelt on the plane without having to ask for an extender. At the resort, I was by far the heaviest woman there and for the whole two weeks I felt like a whale--unattractive, and fat, hiding behind lose and baggy clothes.
This time around, I will work more on my emotional/mental state of being. In other words, this time, I will think myself thin.
I'm starting now, not as a New Year's resolution, but because if I chose not to do anything, I will still be fat come June, July, September and so on.....
I will work on my eating and exercise habits and do what's best for me.....which will end up being the best for my family.
The pic is of me at a much healthier weight and I'm using it as a motivator to keep going.
WEEKLY WEIGH IN DATA
12.04.10 --
12.11.10 --
12.18.10 --
12.25.10 --
01.01.11 --
INTERIM GOALS
250 lbs. --
240 lbs. --
230 lbs. --
225 lbs. no longer morbidly obese (bmi)
220 lbs. --
210 lbs. --
200 lbs. --can't wait Goal Date is August 1st, 2009
197 lbs. no longer severly obese (bmi)
190 lbs. --
180 lbs. --
170 lbs. --
169 lbs. no longer obese (bmi)
160 lbs. --
150 lbs. --
146 lbs. no longer overweight (bmi)
140 lbs. within ideal weight (bmi)
Today, I feel like I'm BACK ON TRACK. I've realized I HAVE to include daily exercise in order to fire up my metabolism....my body won't do it with just good eating. Onward and upward!
I was feeling stressed today....nothing major, just a lot of little things. Mostly the lack of "me" time. So, under the guise of going to the "office" (which I was going to do) I stopped in McD's for some food therapy. And how did I feel afterwards?!?! WORSE!! I was already mad for messing up my cleanse day by having chinese food, when I wasn't hungry and I could have done the day properly. After McD's, went home because I had another commitment which wouldn't make going to the office logical. When I got home, I "confessed" to Jamie, had a mini breakdown and then in the evening, hauled my butt to the gym to burn off my indiscretion. I did one hour on this cross ramp thing and was pretty proud of myself for having lasted one hour!! It also helped to know that I burned off the Big Mac and some of my fries.
I still can't believe I allow myself to do this....the whole way there, I had this internal argument with myself, "Why are you doing this?" and I just kept driving. *sigh*
I really wish I could write something stronger, but frustrated will have to do for now. Am dealing with a huge mental block which I think is testing my desire to lose weight. A friend had suggested to me I write a letter to my fat thanking it for the protection it has offered me but that it wasn't needed any more and that it was free to go. After writing the letter I'm supposed to burn it. I think I may try it tonight, what have I got to lose?
I'm grateful that at least Jamie is supportive and is encouraging me NOT to look at the scale and to keep doing what I know has to be done to work towards being healthier!
