I am a recovering drug addict.. my drugs of choice, among others, were mainly cocaine, crack cocaine & prescription medicines (pain killers, muscle relaxers, anti-depressants, anxiety, etc).. basically anything I could swallow, smoke &/or put up my nose, & preferably all @ the same time, was a life consuming passion..
I hustled to support my habit & was deeply infatuated with that side of the lifestyle as well.. the thrill was as intoxicating as the drugs themselves were.. I constantly straddled the fence between both sides, their points of view & found myself torn between them, neither of which were healthy mentally, physically, or spiritually..
In all honesty I would be lying if I said I didn't love every minute of my relationship with the lifestyle.. I did, a part of me still does & always will.. however, most of the time I found myself equally hating it as well, which led to the realization I had no idea who i was or what I wanted anymore.. I no longer trusted myself or any of my decisions.. I needed to break away & after numerous 2nd thoughts, hesitations, slips ups & struggles (you know breakups never take the first time.. lol..), as of 4-6-07, I am completely sober..
4-6-07 was the first day, a clear view of what I saw looking back @ me in the mirror, became apparent.. & part of my "moment of clarity" was the fact, even though, for the most part, I was clean.. dealing with the hangover of a drug addiction on my own, left me feeling disgusted by how I thought mentally, looked physically, & felt spiritually..
Having gained quite a few pounds, losing the majority of any muscle mass I had, & reading the benefits exercise could have on depression, anxiety & my all around well being.. my weight & physical health was the first issue I wanted to tackle..
In the beginning, I had very limited options.. no weights, no gym, no machines.. I stumbled across a very simple but beneficial isometric routine to use as exercise & up until I found TDP, I counted calories in my head.. with the help of this site, along with learning an incredible amount of information on nutrition, I was able to manage my caloric intake more intently.. & by constantly modifying the routine to keep it challenging, I gradually began to notice vast improvements in all the areas of my mental & physical health..
The shirtless pictures are meant to document my progress & to serve as inspiration to anyone who assumes, makes excuses, or simply has a legitimate fear that because they don't have access to a gym, the use of weights, or machines, they cant or wont be able to maintain an adequate exercise regiment..
Unfortunately, I didn't have a camera earlier, but the heavier picture was taken 6-11-07.. this wasn't my heaviest, it was about 2 months already into my new lifestyle.. you can already see the start of some changes.. the 2nd picture was taken 6-28-08.. just a little over 1ne year later..
As I said I had limited options & that included the use of a scale, so I do not know what my exact weight was then & I do not know my exact weight now (I wouldn't use 1ne if could, I believe they have more negative effects on your psyche than do positive).. however according to the military formula for body fat percentages using measurements, & also according to the calculator on this site, I am currently at around 9% body fat.. obviously, it's impossible for that number to be exact.. but, coupled with pictures, it will serve as an excellent representation of change to your body..
Today I am more knowledgeable on the right foods to eat, I have learned many new & more beneficial methods of exercise, & although I still have plenty more to learn, as I pale in comparison to the knowledge of many other members of this site, I still haven't stepped foot inside a gym..
point being..
never let your circumstances deter you.. & don't allow yourself to become a victim of them either.. irregardless of whatever obstacles lye in front of you.. your goals ARE attainable.. IF you want it bad enough, & as long as you choose not to make excuses..
thank you.. this has been a Mr. Rodgers moment.. I now return you back to your neighborhood & your regularly scheduled beautiful day..
:)
