How to Cope With a Difficult Child

Video Transcript

DR. F. FELICIA FERRARA, PhD: Hello, I'm Dr. Felicia, the parent coach and I've been working with parents and families and children for over twenty five years so I'd like to share with you some tips today on how to deal with a difficult child. Yes, when you have a difficult child you will know it. They will be obstinate. They will refuse to do everything you would say to do. "No" is their favorite word. So what you must do to help them, number one, no child really wants to be on the bad side. They just don't know how to get out of it. And you know how you feel when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed that day? Well, some children have that feeling everyday. So it's up to you to calm the environment. Be sure that your household is calm and consistent. Of course if it's chaotic and there's a lot of inconsistency the child picks up on that and they become oversensitive and react to that. And that's when you get your bad moods as well. So what you want to do is give that child attention, certainly call them out when the behavior that they're being be extremely disruptive and willful and by all means don't start the yelling and screaming at them because they're only going to yell and scream back so instead of calming them you're going to be heightening their own negativity. So be sure when you have a negative child, number one that you take the time, see what might be bothering them because it's not a willful behavior sometimes, it's involuntary and impulsive. And number two you want to make sure that you speak with him in a very calm way because it's the only way to calm them down and number three you want to make sure that you reinforce to them the proper behavior that you expect from them. In that manner they will know what is expected of them and they will know that that behavior is not going to be tolerated. So you do so with a firm hand, consistent discipline so that you and your spouse or your partner whoever else might be parenting that child have the same philosophy about how to discipline the child. And by all means, it never hurts the child to stop it with a hug. Give them a big hug at the end of it all. It doesn't hurt you. Remember you don't like the behavior but you love the child. Everyone responds with more love. So with that in mind, I wish you luck and lots of good hugs. Bye now.