DR. F. FELICIA FERRARA: Hello. I'm Dr. Felicia, the parent coach, and I'm here to help you discuss how you might discuss sex with your teen. Now, this is a very crucial topic. I've been dealing with this for over 25 years now, and I'll be honest with you there is not a parent alive who thinks their child is having sex. However, we know from studies and from different surveys that it's over 50% to 70% of all children are sexually active on some level during high school, some in middle school. It's a very shocking statistic but it's the truth. So you're better to be prepared, kind of be proactive as a parent, and you want to discuss these things with your child. You certainly want to discuss it at a level that they're mature enough to understand and comprehend. Now, some children of course are more internal and they don't like to discuss it. It's private. Who wants to talk about sex with their parents? Yuck. That's yucky. They might think. But the truth is you want to keep that open forum for them. You want to let them know that you're not so embarrassed, you can't be approached. There will be questions that come up, and most teens do learn about sex out on the streets from their friends. So as a parent, you want to be proactive, open a dialogue and let them know that you're open to discuss it with them that you're not so embarrassed you can't discuss it, so stay open. And you also want to reinforce the family values, whatever that maybe, within your family but hopefully it's conservativism and to use safety during sex if at all. Those are pros and cons. Each family has to decide for themselves, but the important part is keep an open dialogue. You have to be approachable or a child will never come to you with a problem that they might have related to a sexual nature. Keep an open mind, remember that. Be proactive and maintain the family values. Mostly, you want to teach your child to respect themselves, set boundaries for themselves, what they will accept or not accept, and allow themselves to say "no" when the time comes if they need to. You might even rehearse some role-playing with them. That helps if they're in that social situation. So remember, this is a difficult time for children but it's a very necessary time to learn to experiment and by all means keep that dialogue open. Good luck on this one. So long for now.
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