Dr. Ferrara has worked with children and adult survivors of abuse for over twenty years in CT, NY and FL. She is currently in private practice in Tampa, FL and affiliated with the University of South Florida as adjunct associate professor.
DR. F. FELICIA FERRARA: Hello. I'm Dr. Felicia, the parent coach, and I've been working with families and children for over 25 years. One of the most pressing questions parents often ask is how do I prepare my child for college? This is a very tough question, especially if you've been a very close family over the years and really monitored your children closely; and all of a sudden, it's pretty terrifying when you know that at age 18, all of a sudden, you need to let them loose in a college campus. We all hear the stories of parties, etcetera, that goes on. Okay? So what you need to do is start very early with your child, number one. One of the biggest problems is decision making and choices when you're on a college campus. So as a younger person during high school, etcetera, and earlier too, you want to let your child participate in the family decision making because it teaches them to reason. It teaches them to problem-solve and it teaches them to why something went wrong. If they do something wrong at home, then by all means explore the alternatives why that went wrong, what's the consequences of that going wrong. So what that does is it not only takes care of the incident that happened, it also sets a priority for the child; so that as they grow into teen years, they'll be able to reason the same way when they're faced with things out in the social world. Now, a college campus is loaded with temptation; and as we all know, drugs, sex and rock and roll. That's the old adage. But as a parent, what you want to do is get yourself an 800 number, so the children can call you at any time from any place. They're very cheap. For about $5 a month in a telephone company, you get an 800 number. So for some reason, they don't have their cell phone with them or they don't have their other mechanisms to get in touch with you, they can go to any phone and dial that 800 number without costing them any money. That's one thing, the 800 number. The other thing is to put yourself on speed dial in their cell phones; so that if they are faced with an emergency, they can hit one button on their cell phone and they automatically dial you at home. And another thing is to teach them the buddy system, so that they buddy up with their roommates. That they never go out alone. They never walk late on campus. And take a copy of the campus safety rules and make sure that you go over those safety rules with your child. This way here, they not only hear it from you but they hear it from the college authorities. Again, we reinforce them every inch of the way but encourage the buddy system, the cell phone and your 800 number, and your child should be safe and well educated when they're done. So good luck, mom and dad. It is quite an adventure.
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