DR. CORAL ARVON: Hi, my name is Doctor Coral Arvon. I'm a licensed clinical psychotherapist with Arvon and Associates in Counseling in Aventura, Florida. This is the beginner's guide to controlling your emotions. Did you know that our thoughts control our feelings and our feelings make us act in certain ways, behave in certain ways? You can change your thoughts and change your perceptions to really feel differently. Let me give you a little example, you're waiting for a phone from a special new date--a phone call from a special new date and the phone doesn't ring and you're sitting there. A person might say, "Oh my goodness, what's happening? He's not going to call me. Maybe he doesn't like me. Maybe nobody will like me. Maybe I'm not somebody that I can date. Maybe I'll never meet anybody. This is horrible, this is awful." And when you think that way, you feel depressed, miserable and alone, but then we go and we dispute those thoughts because those thoughts are irrational. Rational thoughts would be, "Maybe the fellow got busy or maybe he's a jerk or maybe he's irresponsible, but that doesn't mean that I can't be happy and meet somebody else. Yes I'm a little disappointed but life goes on." And then, of course, you feel better. We have a tendency to take our thoughts and to go on a cycle in a whirlwind. One thought leads to another, and pretty soon we're pretty miserable. We usually think the worst. Learning how to think positively and learning how to take a positive out of a negative situation will really help you lead a healthier, more productive life. It's your emotions that are caused by your thoughts. It's what you think is how you feel, so learn to think differently. Be more positive and you will feel much better. Five ways to control your emotions would be: one, change the way that you think; two, talk to your friends and check out your perceptions and see if they're the same as--if other people are seeing it the same way; three, go to a different environment and look at things from a different light; four, you can speak to somebody--if you can't change your thoughts, speak to somebody professionally about it; and five, make a list. Put your thoughts down and see if you can change them on paper.
