Beginner's Guide to Supporting a Relative Through Substance Abuse

Video Transcript

DR. CORAL ARVON: Hi, my name is Doctor Coral Arvon. I'm a licensed clinical psychotherapist with Arvon and Associates in Counseling in Aventura, Florida. This is the beginner's guide to supporting a relative through substance abuse. You might have a loved one who is suffering from an addiction of alcohol or drugs and you might want to help them. The first thing you need to know is when they're using, they're usually lying, and listening to them and giving them money is not going to help because they usually spend that money on drugs or alcohol. What does help is to be there to listen, to set firm boundaries. Do not go back on what you say. They will manipulate you because they are living the drug. It's not them. A lot of times, relatives are very disappointed because the person they love so much seems to be stealing from them or lying to them or cheating from them. We need to get the person who is addicted into the 12-step programs. They might need to go to detox first and get it out of their system. It's very difficult to support somebody but they do need it. Believe in them; stay with it. Sometimes the addicted person has to be really down, down in the ground and they have to feel the pain before they can start to change. Addicting is physical. It's psychological and it's very challenging. Get your family to help you. Have an intervention. Pull the family together and everybody can be in the room and tell the person that's using what they can do or how that person is affecting their life. The five important things to remember to helping your relative with substance abuse are: one, helping them admit it and talk with you about--that they do have a problem; number two, set boundaries, what you will and will not do; three, suggest going to AA or other groups; four, if they need to go into detox, help them get to the hospital; and five, just listen, be patient. It's very difficult and very challenging.