DR. CORAL ARVON: Hi, my name is Dr. Coral Arvon. I'm a licensed clinical psychotherapist with Arvon and Associates in Counseling in Aventura, Florida. You can have a good life after divorce. It's important not to blame yourself or not to blame your partner. This is a great time to have new ideas, develop new activities, a new life, have new friends. There are a lot of things you can do that you couldn't do before, and don't worry about jealousy. Who gets married first? Who dates first? Just think about yourself. It's a good time to mediate, take yoga, really get in touch with yourself. You can meet other people and you can have a good life. You might be feeling feelings of loss and maybe it's extremely difficult for you. If your friends can help you, go and get some professional help just to get you over the hurdle. Some people might have to go on an anti-depressant just for a short time. Other people can look at it as a new challenge. It is a challenge. Remember, your thoughts control your feelings. If you think that life is going to be tough and miserable, you'll feel pretty desperate, pretty depressed. But if you say to yourself, "This is challenging. There are other people out there to meet. This is mind opening. This could be a wonderful experience." Then it will be. It's what you think and that's how you feel. There are other things that you can do. You can go on to the Internet and find dating groups. There are support groups. There are Parents Without Partners. There are so many opportunities and so many things available to us today. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy the way your new life is going to be. Life after divorce, five points I want you to know about. One, acknowledge your feelings. Two, don't blame each other. Don't waste your time doing that. Three, go on the Internet. Join groups, Parents Without Partners. Four, look at your life as a whole new adventure, and five, remember, your thinking causes your feelings. So if you think life will be terrible and life will be over, it might be. Remember, that it's exciting and things can be good and this is a new life, a new time for you to enjoy.
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