DR. CORAL ARVON: Hi, my name is Dr. Coral Arvon. I'm a licensed clinical psychotherapist with Arvon and Associates in Counseling in Aventura, Florida. This is the beginner's guide to coping with the loss of a loved one. The first thing you need to do is acknowledge that this is really happening and accept it, which is very difficult to do because we usually want to go into denial. It's not happening to me. How am I going to cope with this? What do I do first? I'm all alone. I'm not used to this situation. One of the first things you need to do is, if you're having a lot of difficulties, talk to a professional grief counselor. There are also groups you can go to where you can share your opinions and express your feelings. Remember that our thoughts cause our feelings, so we have to also take a look at, what are we thinking? Are we thinking that we can't do this alone? Are we thinking we are nobody without this person? This is awful or horrible. We need to learn to change our thoughts, that maybe this is disappointing and maybe it's difficult but we can move on. We can lead a nice, healthy life and do different things. You might feel very angry for a while and you might even want to bargain. Why is it? Why? Why me? Despair and depression might take over, but if you talk about it with other family and friends, if you attend the funeral, that'll help you have closure. You'll be able to say goodbye to your loved ones. Remember, it's not an easy thing to do, but in life, we all come and go and that's the circle of life. And the five important things to remember about coping with the loss of a loved one are: number one, acceptance; number two is to talk about it, so you can get rid of your anger; three, go to the funeral so you can have some closure and remember the person; four is go to a professional counselor if you're having difficulty, if you're depressed and in despair; and five, share your thoughts with your friends and don't be alone.
