Though we may not want to admit it, many of us undergo grueling workouts to look and feel better for ourselves... and for potential partners.
We exercise for our “mirror muscles” so that the reflection we see says “healthy and fit.” But just because we are looking great and encounter said partners, it doesn’t guarantee us the greatest pleasure — the orgasm.
We can start by understanding that the muscles responsible for orgasms cannot be seen in a mirror. If these muscles are weak or too tight, they cannot adequately contract, which means we can’t reach our maximum orgasm potential.
By strengthening the muscles that support the pelvis, we can bring the bones of the pelvis closer together, thereby giving great support to the pelvic floor. And a flexible and strong pelvic floor can contract well, greatly increasing the potential for a big orgasm!
By practicing Kegels, self-massage and yoga moves that support the pelvis, you'll be experiencing bouts of euphoria in no time. So worth it.
How to Massage Your Pelvic Floor
The hammock of muscles that lies between the bones of the pelvis (which supports your internal organs) is called the pelvic floor.
To assess if your pelvic floor muscles are tight you will need to palpate (or externally massage and examine) the tissues between the two sitz bones, pubic bone and tailbone. The matrix of the pelvic floor lies between these four points. Apply pressure; if there is discomfort or pain, it is likely due to muscle tightness.
Gently massaging the space between the two sitz bones, pubic bone and tailbone with your hands or roll lightly on a tennis ball. This can greatly loosen the constriction of these muscles.
Pelvic floor physical therapists can even do an internal exam to more accurately tell you which muscles are tight or weak, but you can tell a lot just by palpating.
How to Do Kegels Right (and Why You've Been Doing Them Wrong)
To make your way toward a bigger orgasm, you need to start practicing Kegels, but most likely not how you were taught to practice them. If you learned to engage the muscles that "stop the flow of urine," physical therapists are now saying that this can create dysfunction because only one portion of the pelvic floor gets addressed.
We need the entire pelvic floor to be strong and supple to maximize sexual satisfaction! Kegels are intended to lengthen and strengthen all of the muscles of the pelvic floor diaphragm.
Consider again the four bony points of the pelvic floor matrix: the two sitz bones, pubic bone and tailbone. In order to increase vascularity and create strength the pelvic floor needs to contract well, so we must work with the muscles that lie between these four points.
I’ve had the most success doing Kegels in a seated position as described below. However, many people have greater success lying down with the knees bent and the feet planted hip-width distance apart.
Regardless of your preferred position, the one thing you’ll want to practice throughout each exercise is breathing. Breathing deeply is one of the most important parts to creating good pelvic floor strength and flexibility.
As you inhale, fill the entire torso with your breath. Feel the side ribs widen as the diaphragm stretches and the gentle stretch of the pelvic floor. As you exhale, feel all of the abdominal muscles engage to assist in pressing the air from the lungs and the subtle lift of the pelvic floor at the end of the exhale. Continue to breathe like this as you perform each exercise.
4 Steps to Correct Kegels
Sit in a simple cross-legged position. (If this is not comfortable, sit on a yoga block, blanket, bolster or sofa cushion.) Inhale deeply, sensing the muscles that lie between the two sitz bones. Imagine each sit bone is an elevator door. As you exhale, draw these muscles toward one another, closing the doors. As you inhale, the doors open and release. Repeat for four rounds of breath.
Now imagine that the pubic bone and the tailbone are the elevator doors. On an exhale draw the muscles toward one another, closing the elevator doors. As you inhale you release allowing the doors to open.
On an exhale, draw all four points — the two sitz bones, pubic bone and tailbone — to center. Release as you inhale.
When you feel like you can fully draw all four points to center, closing the elevator doors, you attempt to lift up the elevator. Imagine that there are three floors from the pubic bone to the navel. With each exhale you challenge how high you can lift the elevator.
What Do YOU Think?
Have you been practicing Kegels correctly? If so, have you noticed a difference in the intensity of climax? What are other ways you can work out your body for bedroom satisfaction?