When two people get married, they make vows to love each other for better or for worse, but what about when "worse" becomes too much to bear? If you suspect that your husband is a sociopath, you certainly have cause for concern as well as grounds for divorce. While no one should be deemed a sociopath or psychopath, another term that is also used, without being determined so by a mental health professional, you can look for certain clues to see if your suspicions are true.
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He Lies to You
The Mayo Clinic reports that consistent lying and deception are chief symptoms of a sociopath. Many people lie, but if your husband is truly a sociopath, he may have trouble telling you the truth on a consistent basis. If you do catch him in a lie, he is also likely to be skilled at talking his way out of trouble. True sociopaths lie without control or remorse, although they may attempt to show remorse for problems or pains their lies have caused from time to time.
He Acts Impulsively
According to psychopath expert and author of "Without Conscience," Robert Hare suggests that all psychopaths act impulsively and without thinking at times. "Psychopaths are unlikely to spend much time weighing the pros and cons of a course of action or considering the possible consequences," he says. " 'I did it because I felt like it,' is a common response." He also suggests that this impulsive nature will cause them to change their plans often as well, as they don't give too much of a thought to how their current plans will affect their future. This may include making decisions about the household or even spending money from your joint account without accounting for it.
He Shirks His Responsibilities
Sociopaths tend to pay little attention to their responsibilities. Husbands who pay little to no attention to the children, don't pay child support or disregard other duties in their homes and lives are displaying some of the classic sociopathic signs. "Obligations and commitments mean nothing to psychopaths," says Hare. "Their good intentions ... are promises written on the wind." He suggests that poor credit history, mounting child support, inability to hold a job and poor parenting are signs of a sociopath and, when combined with other warning signs, could mean that your husband needs help.
He's Violent at Times
Although sociopaths are normally so good at talking themselves out of things that they don't often go to jail for them, they do tend to have issues with violence. If your husband is, in fact, a sociopath, he is bound to display violent tendencies in bursts. He may hit you or your children in fits of rage and then appear completely remorseful and apologetic minutes later. He may "confess" that he needs help and even say he is going to get it, but true sociopaths are difficult to treat and are not quick to sincerely seek treatment on their own.
He's a Charmer
Despite all of these other things, a man who is truly a sociopath is bound to be a charmer. According to Hare, a true sociopath is manipulative and cunning. They are also normally intelligent people who have a way of getting out of trouble, getting what they want and appearing and acting normal, for the most part. Only a mental health professional can diagnose a sociopath. In the meantime, if your husband is displaying the signs of a sociopath, it is best to get out of his way and encourage him to seek help for his problem.