You can’t make your marriage immune from the threat of infidelity, even if you describe your relationship as rock solid. It doesn’t matter whether the cheating behavior comes as a complete surprise or not. Cheating is the ultimate betrayal of the trust invested in a committed relationship, and it can be easy to overlook the signs that your husband is thinking about cheating. Learn to recognize signals that unfaithfulness may appear on your husband’s radar.
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Nagging and Fussing
If your normally easygoing husband nitpicks, criticizes and instigates arguments, this behavioral shift may indicate that he is considering infidelity, according to family counselor M. Gary Neuman in his book, “The Truth About Cheating.” For example, if your spouse applauded the bathroom tile you selected and now considers it an eyesore, something more than the bathroom flooring may be on your man’s mind. If your husband embarks on fault-finding missions and seems eager to argue with you over trivialities, investigate what’s really bugging him.
Watch for Emotional Withdrawal
It’s easy to recognize that problems exist in your marriage if you regularly engage in verbal warfare. However, if your husband no longer disagrees with you about any aspect of your relationship, his passive silence may communicate a disconnection, says couples therapist Jane Greer in the online “Redbook” article, “How to Stop an Affair Before It Starts.” The silence says that your husband doesn’t expect you to hear what’s on his mind. When your husband feels that you ignore his viewpoint, he may believe that it’s acceptable to stray.
Listen to Him
Perhaps your dearly beloved husband has mentioned a name more than once, cautions BACP accredited counselor Elly Prior on her Professional-Counselling website. The casual conversation alone may not provide a reason for concern. However, if your husband appears uncomfortable or defensive when queried about the individual, consider this behavior a red flag. Learning that your husband spends an exceptional amount of time with this person provides additional validation that it’s time to investigate further.
Trust Your Instincts
All relationships experience hardships, but don’t ignore your instincts that all is not well when something is amiss in your marriage. Regardless of the duration of your marriage, trust your knowledge of your husband’s normal behavior within the context of the relationship. If his behavior represents a change from the norm, share your concerns with your husband, and consider marriage counseling as an option. Even when you can’t specify exactly what’s wrong, acknowledge your feelings, and seek answers to your questions.
REFERENCES & RESOURCES
- Redbook: How to Stop an Affair Before It Starts
- Professional-Counselling: Signs of Infidelity
- Today: See the Signs: How to Know If He's Straying
- ABC News: Seven Signs Your Spouse Is Cheating on You
- Huffington Post: Cheating Signs: 3 Ways to Identify a Cheater
- TwoOfUs.org: Preventing Infidelity: How to Stop Affairs Before They Start
- Psychology Today: Infidelity: Not Missing the Signs