How to Tell a Man You Love Him

No matter how sure you are of your feelings for a man, it can be really daunting to say those three important words: "I love you." Perhaps you have been dating for a while and want to take things to the next level but don't know if the man feels the same way. Maybe you have developed loving feelings for a friend and want to be honest about how you feel, but you are scared to jeopardize your friendship. The key is to prepare in advance, rather than blurt something out at the wrong moment.

A couple hugging each other along a canal. (Image: Jeremy Maude/Photodisc/Getty Images)

Step 1

Consider what the man's reaction to your declaration of love may be. If you have been dating for a while and growing closer, you may be fairly confident that he loves you, too. However, if he is noncommittal about your relationship, seems reluctant to turn it into something serious or is only a friend at the moment, you should prepare yourself for a response you may not be hoping for.

Step 2

Choose the right time and place to reveal your feelings. It's best to do it when neither of you are in a hurry to be elsewhere. Make sure you don't have a lot of distractions. If you are telling your boyfriend you love him, you may want to do it in a special place, such as the location of your first date or in your favorite private, romantic spot, such as at the local park or on the beach. Make it extra special by adding some thoughtful touches, according to the "Cosmopolitan" article "How to Say I Love You," such as champagne, a home-cooked meal or candles.

Step 3

Speak from the heart. The words you use are less important than the emotion behind them. Simply saying, "I love you," is extremely powerful. If you want to use different phraseology, consider one of the alternatives suggested by pastors and public speakers Jim and Carrie Gordon, who have been happily married for more than 30 years and have counseled many couples, in the article "25 Romantic Ways to Say 'I Love You'" for "Your Tango." Whether you say "You are the love of my life," "I want to be with you forever," or "I treasure you," choose something that reflects the nature of your relationship. If you are revealing your love to a man you are not in a relationship with, you may want to prepare him a little. Instead of announcing "I love you!" out of the blue, you could begin by explaining how much you care about him and how you have noticed your feelings have been growing stronger over the past few months.


If you are telling a friend you love him, be aware of the effects this may have on your relationship. If he doesn't feel the same way, things may be awkward; the worst case scenario is that you are unable to continue being friends.

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