How to Reconcile a Broken Friendship

Friends with coffee relaxing together
Friendships can improve your quality of life. (Image: Jupiterimages/Creatas/Getty Images)

Recovering a broken friendship not only helps to heal your hurt, but it can also improve your quality of life. A study conducted by the University of California, Los Angeles, reports that for women, sharing close friendships may reduce stress and allow you to live a happier and healthier life. Male or female, genuine friends are always present to share both your joy and hardships. By reconciling a friendship, you’re showing a willingness to ask for forgiveness and a desire to once again be present for all the joys and hardships of life.

Step 1

Admit your part in the deterioration of the friendship. Apologize for failing to be there for him in times of need. Accept your responsibility for the brokenness, even if you don’t believe that you’re solely at fault, says Greg Baker, counselor and author of “Fitly Spoken.” He says that you must focus on repairing the friendship, not placing blame or guilt.

Step 2

Fight for your friendship. Don’t let hurtful words or actions get in the way of the relationship you've shared with your friend. The difficulties in friendships can develop when you allow the small things to obstruct the most important aspects. Relationships evolve as people change, but you must be willing to allow room for growth. Sometimes, you must make personal sacrifices to repair or sustain a friendship, says Baker. He suggests, “If you can't sacrifice to maintain the friendship, then maybe it wasn't true friendship to begin with.”

Step 3

Make amends. Initiate the opportunity to heal the relationship. Put your pride aside and approach your friend. You're the only one who has the power to act on your desire to fix the friendship; don’t wait for her to come to you. Baker suggests that relationships often remain broken because both friends refuse to be the one to admit fault or accept responsibility.

Step 4

Leave the past behind you. Once you’ve agreed to work on reconciling the friendship, don’t recall the issues that lead to turmoil in the friendship. Focus on your relationship now. Use your past mistakes to guide you in healing the friendship--as a tool to help you avoid any future conflict you may encounter.

Step 5

Work to reclaim the time you’ve lost. Do what you have to in order to facilitate your friend's needs in recovering the friendship. Give him time to re-evaluate the situation, if that’s what he requests. Allow him the space to determine his desire to work on the friendship, says Internist Alex Lickerman. He states: “A true friend is consistently willing to put your happiness before your friendship.”

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