Domination and Submission
Whips, chains, leather, oh my! These are all accessories in one of the top three sex fantasies in the U.S. — BDSM, per Dr. Justin Lehmiller’s study. As a whole, BDSM is categorized as multiple sexual activities that involve (consensual) power plays — namely bondage and discipline, domination and submission, and sadism and masochism. In this case, the “D” and “S” stand for domination and submission. Sexual health coach Guyn says, “The psychological basis for the dominance fantasy is infantile (i.e., ‘I’ll take what I want’). In submission fantasies, it’s ‘I am powerless, and in my lack of power you secure me.’”
Your daily life may be an underlying factor in whether you prefer a dominant or submissive role. According to certified sex therapist and sexologist Dr. Jenni Skylar, “For those who live more rigid, busy lives dictated by Google calendars, the appeal of surrendering to a submissive experience in a BDSM scene can feel simultaneously relieving and exciting. Vice versa, someone who feels crazed by the chaos of the world may enjoy a dominant experience and the excitement of being in control.”
Up Next: This common fantasy involves discipline.