Having a baby changes every aspect of your life, including your sex life. Unfortunately for many women, having a baby equals a drop in libido, making them less interested in sex. Dr. Elizabeth Pryor at Parents.com says that low sex drive is common after women have a babies. Adjusting to your new body image and lack of sleep can diminish your interest. However, women's partners are often anxious to resume sexual activity, and women want to participate. If your libido is lagging, there are several things you can do to bring back your sex drive.
Step 1
Sleep more. According to Dr. Ruth Westheimer at Dummies.com, many women are so exhausted from caring for a new baby that when they go to bed, they would rather sleep than have sex. Asking your partner to give you two hours for a nap may refresh you enough that you can regain interest in making love.
Step 2
Make time for romance. New parents often have busy lives, especially if both parents work outside the home, and the demands of caring for a baby can put romance on the back burner. Westheimer recommends enlisting a grandparent or hiring a baby sitter to watch the baby for a couple of hours so that you and your husband can make time for a romantic date.
Step 3
Pay attention to changing body issues. The shift in your hormones may cause vaginal dryness, especially if you are breastfeeding, according to Pryor. Many women are reluctant to have sex immediately after childbirth because they fear pain, but using lubricants and taking time for foreplay can make sex more comfortable.
Step 4
Consult with a doctor to rule out medical causes. Hormones shift significantly after childbirth and can lower sex drive, especially if you are breastfeeding. The American Academy of Family Physicians also suggests that postpartum depression can reduce interest in sex and recommends screening new mothers for signs of depression. Certain medications can also cause a low libido, including birth control and antidepressants. If your low libido is due to a medical cause, this may be fixable by taking or changing medication.
Tips and Warnings
- Use birth control whenever you have sex, even if you are breastfeeding. Your doctor or midwife should discuss contraceptive options with you at the six-week postpartum check-up. Obey your doctor or midwife's advice to wait until six weeks postpartum to have sex; doing so earlier can risk injury. If you are feeling insecure about your body image after having a baby, talk to your partner about it. Most likely he will reassure you that he still finds you attractive.
- Do not avoid having sex for a long period because of your lack of interest. Westheimer says that this can cause couples to grow apart, and the longer you go without sex, the more difficult it becomes to establish a regular sex life again.
