Sibling rivalry and distance can drive your family apart, and cause you emotional pain. Psychology Today estimates that as many as one-third of individuals describe having a distant or rivalrous relationship with a sibling. When you want your family to stay close, it may be necessary to reconcile with your sibling and fix the broken relationship. A high degree or mutual tolerance, heartfelt apologies and treading carefully can help you regain a strong relationship.
Step 1
Attempt to contact your sibling. Even if you've been hurt in the past, and if your sibling shows no interest in making contact or reconciling, swallow your pride and make the first move. With modern technology, it's easier than ever to make casual contact. Send an email with your children's latest pictures, and a query about your sibling's family and life. Or, pick up the phone with a purpose. Ask a question or get a recipe to show your sibling you're making an effort.
Step 2
Apologize for your part in your broken relationship. Even if you feel as though you did nothing wrong, analyze your actions over the years and identify what your sibling could construe as contentious behavior. When you have identified that behavior, make a phone call, or write a heartfelt letter apologizing and asking permission to resume a relationship. Even if your sibling rejects the offer, you've done your part to repair the relationship.
Step 3
Utilize important family events as a reason to get together with your sibling and mend the fences of your relationship, suggests the Ohio State University Extension Service. Weddings, births, christenings and baptisms, reunions and anniversaries are occasions on which to invite your sibling back into your life. Always send an invitation to your estranged sibling.
Step 4
Avoid hot topic conversations that could cause problems with your sibling, warns Judi Light Hopson, Emma H. Hopson and Ted Hagen, columnists for the Chicago Tribune. If you've recently had a falling out about finances, it's unwise to invite him to stay the weekend at your beach house. If you disagree about religion, make sure to avoid that topic. For the first few months after you begin to repair the relationship, it's best to be as genial and diplomatic as possible. When you begin to feel comfortable around each other once again, you can bring up more in-depth topics and have adult conversations in which you can respectfully disagree.
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