Putting a child up for adoption is a very serious decision that can change the rest of your life as well as the life of your child. Many times, adoption leads to a complete relinquishing of parental rights and offers no guarantee that the biological parents will be able to interact with their child in the future. Yet some parents find themselves in situations where they are unable to provide for their child, be it financially or emotionally. When this occurs, adoption can lead to a better life for the child, but there are pros and cons to such a decision.
Improved Quality of Life
Many parents seek adoption because they do not believe they can provide for their child. In this scenario, the child ends up being placed with a family that is able to provide in ways the biological parent or parents cannot. The child is much more likely to grow up in a stable home environment and enjoy a higher standard of living and the increased opportunities that come with it. But this benefit sometimes can extend to the biological parents. No longer encumbered by the need to provide for a child, the biological parents' finances become more flexible.
Sense of Loss
The adoption process and subsequent loss of a child often leaves the biological parents with a deep sense of loss, according to TheLaborOfLove.com. Grief is likely to set in, and it may reside within a parent for years after the adoption. Some individuals may continue to be haunted by their decision to give their child up for adoption, feeling haunted and regretful of their decision--regardless of whether it was the right decision at the time of the adoption.
Control Over Adoptive Parent Selection
A biological parent who chooses to give her child up for adoption can help decide who takes over guardianship of the child. This can accomplished by going through an adoption agency or by matching up with adoptive parents during pregnancy and conducting interviews to choose a family for your child. Through this, the parent of the child can enjoy more security over the type of family the child is born into. In some cases, agreements also can be made to allow the biological parent to keep in touch with the child and remain a part of the child's life.
Many adoptive children grow up feeling bitter and resentful of their biological parents, even as they grow and mature into adults. These feelings are rooted in the abandonment that children feel they have suffered from. The adoptive parents sometimes can influence this outlook, but it remains a risk that a biological parent faces when choosing to give up her child.