Although separation anxiety first develops in infants between 4 and 12 months of age, it also often occurs in older children. Many children begin kindergarten when they are 5 years old, which may provoke separation anxiety. While this condition is typically temporary for most 5-year-olds, some children may have a condition known as separation anxiety disorder. This condition may require professional treatment. Talk to your doctor or a mental health professional if you are concerned about your child's separation anxiety.
Causes
While separation anxiety is a common occurrence in younger children, it may be triggered by stress in a 5-year-old child. Feeling anxious about starting at a new school, going to a new daycare center, moving to a new place or having a new sibling or tension are just some of the many situations that may cause separation anxiety. Some 5-year-olds begin comparing themselves to others, which also may cause anxiety if they feel they do not measure up. Some children become fearful of other children or adults. Children this age may also be reluctant to separate from their parents if there has recently been tension in the home or if they have recently heard stories about someone being hurt or killed.
Time Frame
The length of time a child experiences separation anxiety can vary greatly. Depending on the child, separation anxiety may last only a few days or weeks, or may last for years. The way the parent responds may lessen or lengthen the amount of time the behavior takes place.
Easing Anxiety
While you should avoid giving into your 5-year-old's demands when it comes to separation anxiety, there are things you can do to that may make him feel better. Practicing separating from your child in nonstressful situations may prove beneficial. Developing a goodbye ritual may also help, such as saying a certain phrase or having a special goodbye kiss or wave. The familiarity of rituals is often reassuring for children. Give your child something he can hold on to while you are gone, perhaps a note of reassurance or a special token of your affection. When possible, give your child a choice in a certain aspect of the separation. For example, ask if he would rather you take him to school early before other children arrive or if he would prefer to get there right before class starts. Before you drop him off, make sure he knows what to expect, including the activities he may do while you are away and what time you will be back to pick him up. Your child is often in tune with your emotions, so stay calm and confident.
Warning
Most parents find that their 5-year-old simply outgrows the separation anxiety or finds a way to manage it, but this is not always the case. Some kids develop such bad anxiety that it interferes with their ability to learn, interact with others or results in other undesirable behavior. Contact a mental health professional if you are concerned about your child's anxiety or if it seems to be impairing her ability to function. Cognitive-behavior therapy, family therapy or certain medications may be necessary for some children to overcome or manage anxiety.
