When it comes to discipline, parents tend to perpetuate the same methods they were raised with, or they pursue the opposite approach with their children. Any method can be beneficial or detrimental, depending on the way it is used and whether it is grounded in a parent's love and support.
Pro: Safety and Security
One purpose of discipline is to ensure safety. This can't be compromised when children are too young to have developed the necessary cognitive ability, awareness and responsibility to watch out for their own safety. Discipline sets the boundaries that assure children they are safe. Even when they push the limits, children need to feel that their parents are in charge of the safety net. This also develops the trust that is needed as children become more independent.
Pro: Appropriate Behavior
Discipline creates the opportunity to teach children why their misbehavior is unacceptable, what behavior is appropriate, how to express strong emotions, how to resolve conflict and how to compromise. Effective discipline takes the time to talk with children; giving them the tools they need to prevent misbehavior in the future and to manage their own reactions.
Pro: Consequences
Discipline teaches children the important life lesson that their choices and actions have consequences. The relationship between cause and effect is learned when discipline is given consistently and immediately, but it also needs to be the type of discipline that can teach. Natural and logical consequences are two methods that achieve this goal because the discipline is directly related to the misbehavior. For example, if a child throws a toy at someone in anger, then he loses that toy; if he refuses to stop watching television to come to dinner, he loses television time.
Con: Detrimental Lessons
Inconsistent discipline sends the wrong message. Parents who sometimes---but not always---punish a specific behavior create confusion. Even worse, it teaches children that they don't need to obey rules. Parents who give in after hours of pestering or anger from their child only succeed in teaching that she will always get her way if she just keeps pushing. This type of lesson fuels ongoing battles at home and can turn into bullying or noncompliant behavior at school.
Con: Emotional Fallout
Discipline that is used only to punish can easily become too harsh and ultimately damage your child's self-esteem, destroy trust and create fear. In the January 2000 issue of the "British Medical Journal," Dr. Tony Waterston states that ineffective discipline can lead to antisocial behavior. Self-esteem comes from positive experiences that build a child's belief in her abilities. Children need to know that parents will teach and guide. Discipline that merely punishes rather than teaches does not allow success. Self-esteem is battered, and she is no longer willing to take the risks inherent in socialization.
Con: Ineffective
Some types of discipline may have an immediate response but fail to change future behavior. Physical punishment alone only teaches that hitting and aggression are solutions. It does not help him learn the desired behavior. Discipline that is not developmentally appropriate also won't be effective. For example, toddlers are not yet able to make a connection between their behavior and physical punishment.
