Every parent wants to raise a child who is kind, fair, respectful of others and a pleasure to be around. But teaching your child about morals and ethics can be tough. It’s not a onetime lesson, but a way of life that begins when your little one is born and takes place every single day. There are some keys to help you give your child a strong moral foundation that will last a lifetime.
Step 1
Set a good example. According to Dr. Marianne Neifert, contributor to Parenting magazine, one of the best ways to teach your kids about morals and ethics is to live by them yourself. Children learn much more from observing than listening, so practice what you preach. Make sure your child sees you doing positive things in everyday situations, such as thanking a store clerk or helping a neighbor. Have kids help you contribute to a worthwhile cause, to teach the value of generosity. Help kids understand that sharing with others makes them happy and makes the giver feel good at the same time.
Step 2
Help kids identify emotions. According to Neifert, a child who understands his own feelings will be able to identify emotions in others, which helps develop empathy. Morals and ethics are really all about having empathy for others and making choices that are good for others. With a toddler or young child, describe the emotions you see him expressing, such as, “I know you’re sad that we have to leave the park right now.” This will help him learn the words he needs to describe feelings later on. When discussing moral transgressions, use the same words, such as, “Emma feels sad when you don’t share your toys with her.”
Step 3
Praise good behavior. Neifert says that complimenting admirable behavior is far more effective in promoting positive values than berating bad behavior. Kids naturally want to please adults, so commending good deeds probably will lead to repeat performances. Show your child how proud you are of her actions when she makes an ethical choice by praising her in front of the whole family. This makes proud of her own good deeds, which becomes motivation for doing positive things.
Step 4
Communicate. According to Dr. Marvin Berkowitz, a professor of psychology at Marquette University, good communication can lead to moral development. When kids disobey, take time to explain why the behavior was wrong and what they could have done differently. This helps kids understand how their behavior affects others and why they should choose one action over another. Teens face a lot of moral decisions related to relationships and peer pressure, but parents can encourage moral reasoning through discussion. If you’ve established strong communication lines throughout childhood, teens will be more willing to come to you to discuss ethical dilemmas.
Step 5
Be a nurturing parent. According to Neifert, infants who are cuddled, loved and cared for are more likely to demonstrate caring behavior when they get older. Conversely, toddlers who are abused will be more apt to hit or bite their playmates. According to Berkowitz, preschoolers with secure attachments to caregivers get along better with peers than children with insecure attachments.
Step 6
Show respect. Almost all moral and ethical decisions come down to having respect for others. Once again, being a good role model is a direct way to teach respect, according to Neifert, but also be sure to treat your child with respect, no matter how little he is. Try not to use demeaning terms when referring to other people, and never belittle your child. Don’t allow name-calling or put-downs among siblings or friends. Ask your child to do things instead of giving orders, and show that you respect her opinions by allowing her to express them.
