According to the Mayo Clinic, the discovery of an extramarital affair can produce a strong sense of shock and grief. In the aftermath of learning about an affair, a spouse will experience highly variable emotions. Experts at the Mayo Clinic note that this period of shock can adversely affect a spouse's decision-making and problem solving skills. It is important to take time to sort through the difficult feelings regarding this breach of trust prior to taking steps towards termination of the marriage.
Step 1
Seek support from a professional counselor or a local divorce support group. Experts at the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy note that many individuals who seek psychological counseling from a professional therapist report improved emotional and physical health. A therapist who has experienced working with couples can help a spouse gain perspective on the marriage, the infidelity, and the best options for moving forward.
Step 2
Take time apart from the marriage and consult an attorney. Experts at the Mayo Clinic note that both spouses can benefit from space and time apart after the discovery of an affair. Partners can consider their legal options by consulting a lawyer and seeking advice regarding any possible decisions for legal separation or divorce. Experts note that it is important to gather information and spend time considering options before taking any actions.
Step 3
Take time to make a thoughtful decision about where to live and how to move forward. Use time apart from the marriage to seek support from friends and family. As feelings regarding the future of the relationship become more clear, a partner can consider critical decisions such as where he wants to live and the steps he will take to enact this plan. It's best to have a plan in place prior to seeking a legal separation or divorce.
Step 4
Choose an appropriate time and place to inform a spouse of the decision. According to experts at the Mayo Clinic, infidelity can often damage the trust in a relationship to a point where it can not be repaired. If this is the case, a spouse should consider the best time and place to speak to her partner about plans to seek legal separation or divorce. By taking time and considering all of her options carefully, a partner can make a decision to leave based on her desires and needs.
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