If you suspect your spouse of infidelity, you can take steps to find out the truth, though this may mean becoming deceptive, as well. If you feel OK with the moral consequences, you can practice private detective work to prove your spouse is cheating. Knowing once and for all can help you overcome and move on from the betrayal. "Sometimes exposing that infidelity is the first step to saving the marriage, and recovering from it," says Patrick Schneemann of San Diego, California's, Western Investigations, a company that specializes in infidelity cases.
Step 1
Conduct a physical search, suggests private investigator Chuck Chambers in the book, "The Private Investigator's Handbook: The Do-It-Yourself Guide to Protect Yourself, Get Justice, Or Get Even." Search his briefcase, wallet, garbage can, car, office and other personal areas. Look for proof, such as receipts, photographs, credit card bills, love letters or other pieces of evidence.
Step 2
Check your spouse's cell phone. Go through her sent and received text messages, and look for any suspicious numbers in her list of recent calls. Look up any questionable phone numbers on an online reverse phone number directory to attempt to find who the numbers belong to.
Step 3
Keep a written record of your spouse's activity and whereabouts, suggest Anthony DeLorenzo, Ken Baron, Dawn Ricci and Frank Gunzburg in the book, "Warning Signs: How to Know If Your Partner Is Cheating--And What to Do About It." Note when he leaves for work and when he comes home. Note any unexplained absences, as well as his explanation when asked about the absences. Keeping a written account of your spouse's comings and goings may come in handy later, and can help you to potentially catch your mate in an incriminating lie.
Step 4
Check your spouse's browser history on her computer. This will show you a list of all the recent websites she has visited. In Internet Explorer, click on "View," then "Explorer Bar," then "History" to see this information. Look for clues on her browser history, such as visits to dating websites.
Step 5
Install a keylogger or keystroke recorder on your spouse's computer, private investigator Chambers suggests. A keystroke recorder captures all keystrokes typed on a computer, and records all email passwords, messages sent, as well as other crucial information he may want to keep hidden. Downloadable keystroke recording programs run invisibly in the background undetected. Use the passwords collected from the keylogger to check his email account for evidence of infidelity.
Step 6
Follow your spouse. If you suspect she's going to see her lover, tail her in your car to see where she's going and what she's up to.
Step 7
Hire a professional private investigator with proven experience in infidelity cases to find irrefutable proof of infidelity. A trusted investigator will collect all the evidence you need to prove your spouse is cheating.
Tips and Warnings
- If you suspect your spouse of infidelity, talk with her before resorting to snooping. Be honest about your concerns and ask your partner for an equal amount of honesty.
- Take care when installing programs, such as keyloggers, on a computer. Research the program and make sure it comes from a reputable company. In some states, installing spyware on someone else's computer is illegal. Check your state's laws before installing any surveillance programs on your spouse's computer.
References
- "The Private Investigator's Handbook: The Do-It-Yourself Guide To Protect Yourself, Get Justice, Or Get Even"; Chuck Chambers; 2005
- "Warning Signs: How to Know If Your Partner Is Cheating--And What To Do About It"; Front Cover Anthony DeLorenzo, Dawn Ricci, Ken Baron, Frank Gunzburg; 2009
- Forbes: How To Track A Cheating Spouse
- CNET News: Court: Wife Broke Law With Spyware
- NetLink Communications: How To View Browser History
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