Emotionally abusive relationships can leave a mark long after the abuser has left. According to Stanford University, abuse can leave you feeling angry, afraid or confused. You might also feel guilty for not leaving or dealing with the abuse earlier. These emotions need to be addressed properly to overcome the issue and make sure you can move on with your life. Emotional abuse is sometimes subtle and might work in cycles, but its effects are real.
Step 1
Step away from the abuser. This might be easier if the abuser is a boyfriend or friend and more difficult if the abuser is a husband, parent or sibling. While you might be interested in healing the relationship later on, this might require a move from the other person. For example, he should start therapy to address his own issues. In the meantime, focus on healing yourself. Isolate yourself from the abuser until you are able to deal with your own emotions.
Step 2
Find support. A friend or trusted family member can help you, but professional support is even better. Contact organizations, such as the Center For Relationship Abuse Awareness or the Support Network Organization, to find a support group in your area. If you can't afford counseling, some organizations offer phone support or might be able to refer you to a local non-profit group.
Step 3
Join a support group online. Sharing your experience with others can help you understand you are not alone and might help dissipate feelings of guilt and shame. Online groups allow you to stay anonymous, a plus if you don't feel comfortable sharing things with somebody face to face.
Step 4
Make a list of the ways abuse manifested through the relationship. Common signs of an abusive relationship might include verbal abuse, excessive control, threats, false accusations, making you feel stupid or inadequate, and extreme criticism or humiliation, especially in front of others. Next to each sign of abuse, write what action you can take to make you feel safe in the future. For example, having your own bank account rather than relinquishing control of the money to your partner can help you deal with the issue of excessive control.
Step 5
Work on your future. Take a class, join a gym or go on that trip you've been dreaming about for years. Surrounding yourself with positive things will help you feel alive and encourage you to work on your own happiness. Try doing things the abuser told you couldn't do. It will help you regain a feeling of power.
Member Comments