Elder care is a fact of life most people will have to face sooner or later. When parents or other family members becomes unable to care for themselves, the children generally step in to take care of them. This is a good idea; however, siblings may disagree and argue over what is best for the elderly parent, leading to resentment and frustration. When a dispute has begun, it is important to deal with it directly for the sake of your parent and your sibling relationships.
Step 1
Place reasonable expectations on your siblings; avoid expecting too much. According to The Elder Care Team's website, it is important to offer alternative duties for each sibling in order to keep everyone involved in the care of your parent. For example, a sibling who is untrustworthy to physically care for your parent could be given the job of making phone calls or just being kept informed of your parent's well-being.
Step 2
Consult a geriatric care manager to help you develop an agreement between you and your siblings. According to the Elder Care Laws website, an agreement needs to outline who is primarily responsible for care and financial decisions, where your parent will live and if reimbursement is to be expected.
Step 3
Hold a family meeting to discuss issues you cannot agree on as a family. According to The Elder Care Team, if communication is difficult, bring in a mediator not related to you to keep the meeting on track. This allows for everyone to be heard without causing a big argument.
Step 4
Avoid criticizing your siblings when they are taking care of your parent and ask that they do the same. According to USA Today, you should offer help while realizing your loved ones are putting their lives on hold to help care for an ailing parent.
Step 5
Decide ways to keep communications open so every sibling will be up to date on your parent's condition. According to USA Today, this will prevent siblings from coming into an emergency situation unprepared and angry. Every sibling needs to make sure phone numbers and addresses are available to their brothers and sisters for this purpose.
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