Infidelity is often characterized as a pattern of behavior where an individual engages in self-satisfying activities at the expense of a relationship. Once an affair is discovered, it can lead to a great deal of emotions and reactions from the betrayed party as well as damage a marriage and destroy trust between a man and his wife. It can take a lot of time, work and patience to rebuild a relationship after an affair, even when both parties desire reconciliation.
Step 1
End all contact with the partner in the affair to begin rebuilding trust. If you ever want to mend the relationship with your wife, cease all contact with the other party, including phone calls, emails, text messages and personal encounters, advises the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.
Step 2
Hold yourself entirely accountable for the infidelity. Even if things were rocky in your marriage before the affair, you're the one who strayed, so place the blame on yourself.
Step 3
Be honest and forthcoming with your wife about the affair, suggests MayoClinic.com. But offer simple facts, such as who, what, where and when, especially during the early stages of reconciliation. Intimate details are best left for later in the process.
Step 4
Practice patience with your betrayed wife. It isn't uncommon for the victim of an affair to rehash events, question motivations and experience anger, frustration, sadness and other emotions while going through the process of healing. You may want to resolve the betrayal quickly, but it's not going to be on your timeline. You must live with the guilt for as long as your wife requires.
Step 5
Contact a marriage counselor to facilitate an open discussion about the affair, uncover any marital issues that led up to the act of infidelity and establish methods to rebuild your relationship, recommends MayoClinic.com.
Step 6
Rebuild trust between your wife and yourself. Your counselor can often help identify ways to effectively restore the trust necessary for a healthy relationship. But again, this is on your wife's schedule, not your own.
Tips and Warnings
- MayoClinic.com also recommends giving your wife space after the discovery of an affair. So many emotions surface that it may not be helpful to delve into the act of infidelity. You may also need to move your computer to an open area of the home as well as limit your time spent online and only access the internet when someone is in the house, notes the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.
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