During the younger years of your daughter's lives, you might have never dreamt of having to battle with them someday, but in the blink of an eye, the teen years hit, and the bond between you and your girls can start to disappear. You can no longer relate to them, and you wonder if you will ever get along with your daughters again. It is possible, but you need to go about it the right way if you want to survive this fragile time in their lives. You'll need to have an open and loving relationship with your teen daughters and monitor what's happening in their lives, suggests The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Give your daughters time to make their own decisions within reason. Your daughters are in search of their own identities; you need to give them the space to find it while keeping them safe. For you, it is a matter of understanding they do not need you to cook them dinner every night, or read them their favorite bed time story. However, you must also set boundaries to ensure their safety. Curfews are a must, as well as knowing who they are with and how to contact them.
Keep the lines of communication open. Tell your daughters you are always available for them to talk to. Leave it at that, without a long, drawn out speech. When they do come to you with a problem, simply listen and offer support rather than advice. Psychotherapist, Carol-Anne Vatcher, explains that this demonstrates your desires for her life. Instead, ask questions about her situation that may help her determine what she wants.
Take time to think about your teenage years. Remember your own teen years, your personal situations and how you would have liked your mother to react to certain situations. If you and your mother were close, take time to consider the differences between your relationship with your mother, and the relationship between you and your girls. Doing this may help you with your own family.
Take a look in the mirror. Every parent needs to realize they are not perfect; admitting these mistakes to themselves and their children can go a long way in repairing these relationships. Admit to yourself what you need to change about yourself. Perhaps you need to listen more, or maybe you need to be more patient. Be the first to make these changes, and your daughters may follow suit, according to Linda Mintle, Ph.D.
Make an effort to stop criticizing your daughters. You may not realize you are doing this, believing you are offering advice. Maybe you tell your girls that a certain shirt looks awful with that skirt, or perhaps you say that blue eye shadow is dreadful. To you it is honesty, to them it is criticism. As hard as it may be, let them make their own fashion mistakes. They must learn their own lessons.
Agree to disagree. Mintle points out you will never agree on everything, so simply agree to disagree with your daughters. It saves hurt feelings and unnecessary arguments. Although you may experience hurt feelings when your daughters do not accept your advice, don't take it personally -- it is just them expressing their individuality.