While recovering from addiction is your main concern, rebuilding trust with any family members, friends or employers you may have harmed with addiction-seeking behavior is a high priority. It doesn't matter the length of the addiction before you sought help. There are many lies, sneaky behaviors and possible theft issues for your family members, friends, or employers to overcome before they are ready to trust you again.
Immediate trust usually doesn't happen. Rather, rebuilding a trusting relationship takes time, and the length of time will vary with each person. Trust is gained through your actions by apologizing to those you have physically or emotionally hurt, showing a dedication to recovery, changing your lifestyle to avoid the addictive substance, practicing honesty and finishing your recovery program.
Step 1
Apologize for past wrongs, but remember that an apology isn't worth anything if it isn't sincere and heartfelt. If you are too uncomfortable telling someone you are sorry, try writing a short letter explaining your feelings. Even if your apology isn't accepted right away, it lets your family members know you take responsibility for past behavior.
Step 2
Ask your family members, friends or employers for another chance to prove to them that you are serious about recovery. Whether it is your first, second, third or fourth chance, give your family members, friends or employers another opportunity to stand behind you. To rebuild trust, your family needs to have faith in you.
Step 3
Avoid the object of your addiction whether it is drugs, gambling, alcohol or another vice. This involves creating a new lifestyle by avoiding people and places that can make you slip up. It's easier to regain trust if your family members, friends or employers see that you are dedicated to recovery.
Step 4
Tell the truth. People with addictions tell lies for many different reasons, including to avoid punishment or to just get what they want. Breaking the cycle of lying and practicing deceitful behavior is hard and will take time.
Step 5
Complete your recovery by finishing the program and attending supportive meetings. A good way to regain trust is to follow through with every aspect of your recovery. By seeing you following the steps or rules of the recovery process, the people around you will begin to trust you more and more.
Tips and Warnings
- Don't try to regain everyone's trust at once. Focus first on those closest to you and work your way outward.
- Don't force the issue of trust with your family members, friends or employers. It can take a while, possibly years, before they fully trust you again, but it can happen.
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