Jealousy is a common problem among young siblings, but it can also follow them into adulthood. The jealousy may be due to favoritism of one child over another, age differences or even differences in treatment. The jealousy between adult siblings can be very problematic for other family members, strain relationships and even splinter family units. Being aware and understanding why this jealousy is occurring is often the first step in correcting the problem.
History
Almost every relationship of adult siblings with jealousy has a long history. Most siblings who experience a history of rivalry among them as children expect the rivalry to cease as they grow into adulthood. Unfortunately, some of these siblings do not find this to be the case. According to the Ohio State University Extension, siblings may experience an "hourglass" effect with their relationship. The relationship may wane in early adulthood, remain low in middle adulthood and then increase as the golden years approach.
Significance
The jealousy among adult siblings can be very significant. The jealousy can not only affect the sibling relationship among them, but it can affect other family members' lives and relationships as well. The jealousy can lead to problems with scheduling family events and having a pleasant time at family functions. Also, the Ohio State University Extension reports that adult siblings will need to find a way to communicate and work together as they age because there will be decisions about their parents and other family members that they will have to make. When siblings have jealousy and negative feelings about one another this simply increases the problems in their relationship.
Causes
Jealousy among siblings can have many different causes.One of the main causes of sibling rivalry comes when they are young. Parents may mean well, but they may show favoritism for one child over the other. This may be done if one child achieves more educationally or is a strong sports player over the other siblings. This favoritism can lead to strong feelings of jealousy that can spell over into the teenage years and adulthood. As the siblings age, another cause may be talking behind the other sibling's back. According to Forever Families with Brigham Young University, gossip and sarcasm should be avoided among siblings.
Identification
Identifying jealousy among siblings is very important. Many times, parents will see signs of sibling jealousy but may ignore them, believing that they will diminish in time. Unfortunately, this does not always happen and may even worsen as they grow older. The jealousy may simply go unchecked by both the parents and the siblings themselves.
Identifying the root causes of the rivalry is an important step in correcting the problem. Try to determine if the parents are showing favoritism among siblings, even into adulthood. Are there different gifts given to different siblings (more expensive versus less expensive)? Is there money provided to one sibling over another? Once you identify the cause of the jealousy, you can begin to work on correcting the problem and repairing the relationship. However, the whole family may need to be involved in this part for it to be fully effective.
Effects
According to Forever Families with Brigham Young University, the effects of sibling jealousy can spill over into the relationship of siblings and parents, and even extended family members. Family members may even choose sides, making it even more difficult to deal with. Sibling jealousy may even result in family members losing contact with one another. If the family does find a way to come together for holidays or family functions, it may cause even more problems. Jealousy can result in public family fights and disputes, and this may then result in legal issues such as being arrested.
