Filled with challenges that may equal or surpass the joy of a relationship, marriage can be quite stressful. Unmet expectations can become the seeds that grow into full-blown dissatisfaction, creating a wedge between husband and wife. Moreover, outside factors, such as financial difficulties, job stress, death of loved ones, a new baby or a move. can make problems appear insurmountable. According to Dr. David Sanford of Couplesupport.com, there are three reasons people seek counseling: to alleviate the pain from the relationship, to learn how to make their marriage work and to have a more dynamic relationship.
Learn To Communicate
Some couples start out communicating with each other, but eventually get pulled apart by the stress of everyday life. Children, jobs, and finances may zap the energy of both or either partner, so sometimes they let communication with the spouse slide. Other couples may never have learned to communicate in a constructive manner. Learning how to effectively communicate on a regular basis is an important goal in marriage counseling.
Effectively Disagree
Couples often allow their marriage to get on very shaky ground after intense disagreements and arguments, according to Jon Meyerson, LCSW in "Success with Couples Therapy---A Step-by-Step Approach" on the Social Work Today website. While it isn't necessary for married people to agree on everything, they need to learn to voice their opinions while respecting what the other person has to say. This involves setting boundaries for disagreements, so both partners feel safe to express their views.
Uncover Larger Issues
Sometimes a larger issue is the root of the married couple's problems. A professionally-trained counselor should have the tools to help uncover and help the couple deal with problems that appear too big to overcome. These may be problems from the past, such as fear of abandonment, or current issues, like infidelity.
Changing Bad Habits and Patterns
As the couple drifts through the first part of marriage, bad habits may form and grow. This could be a variety of issues, from not communicating feelings to harping on insignificant things. Since couples often don't see what they're doing, a qualified therapist my spot the problem and help the couple address it in a controlled environment.
Building or Rebuilding the Trust
The marriage counselor will give the couple tools to start building or rebuilding trust in the relationship. This will generally involve baby steps in the beginning, such as following through with small promises like doing what you said you'd do, according to Savemymarriagetoday.org. As the counseling sessions progress, the therapist may add additional methods of learning to trust.
