For people who emerge from abusive relationships, low self-esteem, depression, self-doubt and confusion are common feelings. If you recently ended an abusive relationship, you may feel mistrustful of yourself, as your abuser probably undermined your confidence, questioned your judgment and caused you to question the nature of love. However, there are plenty of supportive resources and people available to help you recover, and you can learn how to trust yourself again after being in an abusive relationship.
Step 1
Seek counseling. You can find free counseling by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline, or go to a therapist that a friend or family member recommends. Talking about your experiences with a trained professional will help you sort through your emotions and learn to see yourself in a more positive light.
Step 2
Keep a journal. Writing down your thoughts will help you get in tune with your inner voice, and you'll often learn a lot about what you want and need from life by what comes out in your writing. A journal is also a good way to keep track of your milestones and progress, no matter how small, so you can reward and appreciate yourself.
Step 3
Set goals, breaking them down into achievable steps. Think about what you want from life and set your sights on achieving your dreams, because you are worth it. Having goals and a focus on what's important to you will help you feel confident about your direction in life.
Step 4
Take care of yourself physically. Many survivors of abuse feel they do not deserve to be treated well and often neglect themselves. Be good to yourself by eating healthy, exercising and getting enough sleep, and you'll feel stronger mentally.
Step 5
Reward yourself for making progress. Every time you reach a goal or achieve a mental victory by being assertive or proactive, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back. Recognizing the progress you've made will help you feel empowered to make more positive life changes in the future.
Step 6
Use affirmations. Get ideas for affirmations from your therapist or a self-help book, and repeat them every day as you look in the mirror. Even if you don't believe the positives you say about yourself at first, soon they will become ingrained in your subconscious, helping to boost your self-esteem and faith in your judgment.
Step 7
Surround yourself with positive, supportive people. Avoid negative people whenever possible, or set limits on your contact with them so you do not feel drained or depressed. Spend time with friends and family members who help you feel good about yourself and encourage you to trust yourself.
Tips and Warnings
- Be patient when you are recovering from an abusive relationship, as big change doesn't come overnight. Focus on your progress and your goals for the future, and you'll start to feel better about yourself.
- If you feel extremely depressed or suicidal when recovering from an abusive relationship, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
Member Comments