Friends can fall out of favor for many reasons. In some cases, a simple misunderstanding needs to be clarified. In other cases, the reasons can be more complex, such as personal interests that change over time. A friendship can be broken over dramatically serious reasons, too, such as an attempt to develop a relationship with the friend's love interest. If the bond between friends is broken, it can be helpful to remember the original basis for the friendship. Whether due to mutual interests, shared pursuits or a likeness in spirit, friends enjoy spending time together and communicating with one another. These feelings can be reestablished once the broken friendship is restored.
Step 1
Reflect on the cause of the friendship's demise. It may be that a particular reason caused the breakup. If you don't understand the reason, ask the ex-friend for input. The friendship may not be able to be restored unless the reason for its ending is at least partially understood.
Step 2
Set up a time with the ex-friend to talk things over. It may be that the friend is willing to go along with a meeting. If your ex-friend is reluctant to meet, suggest that the previous time spent together as friends warrants at least one attempt to reconcile the friendship.
Step 3
Meet with the ex-friend, and apologize if you've done something that the ex-friend feels is a grievance. If you have ill feelings toward the ex-friend about a particular event, explain your feelings. The ex-friend may apologize. If not, be prepared to explain that you're willing to let it go to restore the broken friendship.
Step 4
Explain to the ex-friend how much you value your friendship and how you miss the time the two of you spent together. The ex-friend may not realize how important the friendship is to you. This discussion gives you an opportunity to show the ex-friend that you value the bond between the two of you.
Step 5
Propose that the problems that caused the friendship to end are in the past and that it is time to move forward. Although you may not be able to revive the friendship in its old form, the two of you can move ahead and forge a new friendship that may take on a life of its own.
Step 6
Suggest spending more time together. Be specific in your expectations, because this information will help the two of you move forward. Spending time together is the final step in repairing the broken friendship, so make firm plans to do so.
Tips and Warnings
- Use humor in your attempts to reestablish contact with your ex-friend. Humor can help defuse tensions.
- Sometimes friendships are broken and cannot be restored. If, for example, a friend causes the breakup of the ex-friend's romantic relationship by becoming involved with the ex-friend's partner, the friendship may never be able to be restored.
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