How To Give Effective Consequences For Misbehavior Video

Discipline is important for children to learn boundaries and consequences for behavior. Learn how to give children effective consequences for misbehavior in this parenting video.

Take Action

Enforce consequences immediately
Be consistent
Keep consequence relative to child

About this Author

Dr. Ferrara has worked with children and adult survivors of abuse for over twenty years in CT, NY and FL. She is currently in private practice in Tampa, FL and affiliated with the University of South Florida as adjunct associate professor.

Dr. F. FELICIA FERRARA, PhD: Hello, I'm Dr. Felicia, the parent coach, and I've been working with families and children for over 25 years now and I'd like to share with you today a topic on how to give effective consequences for your children's misbehavior. Now let's face it, all children are going to misbehave sometime, in adolescence as well. So, that's part of growing up and learning decision making; however, it's up to the parents to shape that behavior. There is a series of events that should take place. For one thing, your consequence for misbehavior should follow immediately the behavior that you didn't want. The consequence should be meaningful or relative to the child's own interest. It doesn't pay to give them a punishment that they could care less about anyway. And then the second thing is, it should be consistent across the behavior all the time. So, for instance let's say your child doesn't want to go to bed at night and your punishment is that they took away their TV program for the next morning. That's fine! You got the child to bed. Now, what happens the next night, when you say, "Oh it's okay, you can stay up a little later". So, what you did, you just became inconsistent. Now, the child is all mixed up with the rules. He doesn't know if you want him to go to bed or he can stay up and get away with something else and test the limits, and all children will test the limits. So they know -- they're very aware when you're inconsistent and they look for those little loop holes so they can slide in there and misbehave again, and get away with it. So, be sure that your consequence immediately follows the behavior because their memories are very short so it has to follow immediately, that the consequence is relative to the child. It has to be of interest to them. And that you are consistent across all the misbehaviors. You don't --one night let them up late and then the next night put them to bed early or one night let them get away with not eating his vegetables and the next day he has to eat his vegetables, because those send mixed signals to the children. So, you want to be sure to be consistent. So remember IRC -- immediate, relevant, and consistency, very important tips. Good luck! Happy parenting!

How to Give Effective Consequences for Misbehavior Video

Take Action

About this Author

Member Comments