1. Infants: Building Trust
From birth to about 18 months, the primary focus for emotional development of a child is building trust. This is accomplished inherently as you attend to your child's needs. Your infant learns he will be comforted when he cries, fed when he's hungry and that his needs will generally be met. Over the first year of his life, he will start to express basic emotions and form an emotional attachment to you and other caregivers. That attachment is often expressed as "stranger anxiety" and comes from having learned first to trust you.
2. Toddlers: Becoming Independent
Between the ages of 18 months and 3 years old, children develop emotional independence. They start to see themselves as separate from their parents and begin to test their limits. This stage is often characterized as the "terrible twos" because aggressive behaviors emerge. You can help your toddler learn what is acceptable by establishing consistent boundaries and helping your child give words to her emotions. During this time, your child will also start to interact with others when playing, which will form the foundation of cooperation. You can encourage this with interactive songs, nursery rhymes and other games.
3. Preschoolers: Learning Initiative
From around the ages of 3 to 5 years old, initiative becomes the focus of emotional development. Your preschooler will suddenly understand the concept of feelings and become aware of feelings in other people. This is when you can teach empathy by asking questions like, "How do you think he feels?" Understanding other people's feelings helps these children to form friendships and learn to cooperate. Imagination comes into play during this stage. Your child might start to embrace fantasy or have an imaginary friend. You can nurture your child's imagination by encouraging role playing or dress-up.
4. Grade Schoolers: Keeping Secrets and Making Rules
Around the time when your child goes to grade school, she will begin to learn how to keep secrets. As she gets older, she will start to see herself in comparison to her peers and make judgments about how she stacks up. Don't be surprised if your child starts to become cliquish or exclusionary with friends, as this is a time when children like to form clubs and make rules to govern them. During this period, kids will also begin to be affected by peer pressure.
