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10 Signs Your Girlfriend Is Cheating

author image Barbara Diggs
Barbara Diggs is a freelance writer living in France. A former corporate lawyer, she has been writing professionally since 2006. She has been published in numerous print and online magazines, specializing in travel, parenting, history and law. Diggs is a graduate of Wesleyan University and Stanford Law School.
10 Signs Your Girlfriend Is Cheating
If your girlfriend suddenly starts buying new lingerie, it could be a sign that she's cheating. Photo Credit: Purestock/Purestock/Getty Images

Finding out that a girlfriend is cheating on you can be a sickening shock. There is so much press about men cheating on women, but the truth is that women can be unfaithful as well. If you suspect that your girlfriend is cheating, look for a combination of telltale signs and clues. However, keep in mind that there is no more definitive sign of cheating other than catching your girlfriend in the act.

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She pays increased attention to her appearance

Women involved in new relationships often become preoccupied with their looks. Has she suddenly changed hairstyles, started wearing a new perfume, bought new clothes (particularly lingerie) and started working out more at the gym? Assuming that she hasn’t started a new job or had some other big change in her life, take these changes as potential signs.

She engages in secretive behavior

Cheating girlfriends often become very guarded and cagey. Dr. Reena Sommer, a divorce and affair consultant and author of the book "The Anatomy of An Affair," observes that when cheating mates are working on a computer, they are often quick to close or change a program window whenever you approach. Similarly, Dr. Robert Huizenga, an infidelity coach quoted in an article on, says that a cheating girlfriend may begin to delete emails from her email inbox, where before she let them accumulate. She may suddenly start taking her ringing cell phone into another room before answering it, and then delete the caller ID number once she’s finished the call.

She becomes vague about her whereabouts

Dr. Sommer notes that it's common for unfaithful mates to be evasive about their whereabouts and activities. If your girlfriend suddenly has difficulty giving a straight answer about where she was or what she was doing during the day, it may be a sign that she’s cheating on you.

She frequently talks about a new male friend

Sometimes a friend is just a friend, but if your girlfriend speaks of one new male friend more than any other, she may be having an affair with him. notes that even if this friendship is something she admits to openly, you should still be wary. You should be particularly suspicious if you never meet this friend.

She's increasingly argumentative and irritable

Cheating girlfriends may become highly argumentative, nit-picky and defensive. warns that a girlfriend who starts arguing over little things or nothing may suggest that she is both cheating and looking for a way out of your relationship.

She's suddenly less interested in you

If your girlfriend seems to no longer care about spending time with you, or is less interested in your appearance, health and general well-being, it could be a sign of unfaithfulness.

She's disinterested in sex

The amount of sex a couple has may decrease for many reasons, including busy schedules, depression, stress, and lack of novelty. However, infidelity may also be a factor. observes that because emotional attachment is key to many women in their sexual relationships, some cheating girlfriends may exhibit less desire for their boyfriends because they feel emotionally removed from them.

She works lots of overtime

A classic sign of infidelity is when your girlfriend starts working more–a lot more. Dr. Sommer notes that this suspicious change in work schedule can manifest itself in different ways: leaving the house earlier to go to work, coming home later or claiming to have many business dinners. But take note: is there a pattern to these extra working hours? Every Tuesday and Thursday, for example? If so, that may be a sign that something is wrong. Keep in mind that if the job is new or she has recently received a promotion, there is no need to immediately suspect that she is cheating.

She's less affectionate with you

Consider whether your girlfriend has stopped calling you by a special nickname, is less inclined to hug or kiss you, or responds less enthusiastically to your affectionate overtures. According to, a drop in affection may mean that someone else is dominating her thoughts.

She accuses you of cheating

A cheating girlfriend may try to deflect attention from herself by going on the offensive. Sabrina Summerfield of says that if you have given her no reason to think that you’re cheating, and yet she frequently accuses you of playing around, then she may be the person who is unfaithful.

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