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How to Get Back Into a Relationship After an Abusive Marriage

author image Roger Thorne J.D.
Roger Thorne is an attorney who began freelance writing in 2003. He has written for publications ranging from "MotorHome" magazine to "Cruising World." Thorne specializes in writing for law firms, Web sites, and professionals. He has a Juris Doctor from the University of Kansas.
How to Get Back Into a Relationship After an Abusive Marriage
A loving couple embracing on a patio. Photo Credit: John Lund/Marc Romanelli/Blend Images/Getty Images

Being a part of an abusive marriage is an all too common phenomena, but the problems don't end once your marriage ends in divorce. Whether the abuse was physical, sexual or emotional in nature, you can take steps to ensure your next relationship is healthy and abuse free. You can have a healthy relationship with a new partner, but taking the extra time to make sure you are properly prepared for one is very important.

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Step 1

Get professional advice. The effects of an abusive marriage can last a very long time. You've probably suffered emotional trauma and damage that you must address before you can enter into a new, healthy relationship. Seek professional therapy from a counselor or mental health professional as soon as possible so you can begin the healing process.

Step 2

Learn as much as you can about abusive relationships. Abusive behavior can stem from a number of root causes and have lingering effects. Educating yourself about why abuse happens, the effects it has on your emotional and mental health and what leads people to enter into abusive relationships can be a big step.

Step 3

Stay aware of your emotional state. When you become emotionally involved or interested in a potential partner, your ability to objectively evaluate that person is necessarily compromised. Always be aware of your own emotional response to a potential partner and seek the advice of objective parties when entering a new relationship.

Step 4

Go slowly. Your abusive relationship has probably affected your ability to trust and build a healthy relationship. Don't rush into an intimate relationship with a new partner. Build your relationship slowly over time, and explain to your partner why you are cautious.

Step 5

Make sure you are legally protected. If your abusive ex-spouse still presents a threat to you, your health and your family, you must take steps to ensure no further damage can be done. Talk to a lawyer about what options you have in asking a court for a restraining order or a protective order that limits contact between you and your ex-spouse.

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